Swotting in Style and Comfort

"Boss, I swear! By tomorrow afternoon, I'll send the chair to your house, Boss!"

Cane Furniture Guy, the week before last.

The Manipal Cane Furniture Industries.

When you're in India, disbelief is probably the wisest stance you can take. Treat every honeyed promise the local merchants tell you as a lie and treat every price they quote as twice as much as you think he/she deserves to be paid. When I first landed here in Manipal, when I was about to pay what seemed to be a paltry sum for a lousy laundry basket; a battleship of a senior appeared out of no where, told me to hold on to my cash first, and proceeded to bargain in my favour vehemently. So finally, after much shaking heads, pointing, gesticulating, and ballroom dancing¹, Battleship Senior managed to knock the price down to two-thirds of what it originally was.

"Never pay the full price in India," was the mantra she imparted to me before she disappeared with a swish of her cape back into the shadows; The Bargain Avenger, lying in wait all prepared to defend hapless shoppers like me.

I did a quick mental count of the total amount I saved and it added up to a whopping RM 0.80 *gasps*.

I am grateful that someone would go out of her way to help (though I can't remember her face anymore²) but I frankly can't be bothered to help myself in the same way. I'd gladly give up RM 0.80 any day just to avoid having arguments in dingy, dusty Indian shops with people that needs a Hindi-English dictionary in their hands to even say 'Me no speaka da Inglis veli good' to me.

Besides, my Dad is the bargain negotiator in the family. I'm sure he's saving enough for all of us³.

The chair.

Okay, before I get more off-topic that I already am, I like to announce that the cane study chair I ordered had finally arrived - after nearly two weeks since the day I paid the deposit, surviving disasters such as the untimely mortal illness of the Cane Furniture Guy's brother, a misbehaving delivery motorcycle that pretended to break down and non-existent traffic jams.

The price quoted was 1100 rupees and after several lame attempts to score a discount, I decided to fuck it and pay them the damn money after all - merchants have always known at first sight that I'm a soft touch. One day, I must really look closely into my mirror and see if there's 'Easy' tattooed on my forehead⁴.

But I'll tell you this; it's worth it. That cane study chair is the most comfortable thing I've ever sat in.

How posh.

Besides, it looks terribly cool on my balcony. Now I can sit there in the afternoons with a great novel in my hand, soaking up the Indian sun and getting skin cancer while being comfortably rested.

Of course, you might have noticed the funny arm-rests that looked both fugly, awkward, and do not at all contribute to the fixture's aesthetic value. They are what put the word 'study' in 'cane study chair'.


What I bought it for. Must... remember... this.
With a large soft-wood clipboard, it automatically get transformed into a tool of academia and learning. The tilt angle was calibrated just right so you can rest your back and neck in its natural position while still being able to read your notes/textbooks/leaked exam question papers perfectly.

Now that my chair had arrived, I vow to tackle the second year of medical school with rock-hard determination and drive. I will ace the exams! I will study in that chair every single minute I can find. I will...



Oh bollocks and poppycock! We all know that I'll end up doing this most of the time anyway;



Proud owner of a cane study chair,
k0k s3n w4i

¹ For all the attention I paid, they could be having an arm-wrestling showdown and I won't even realise it.
² I have a terrible head for faces. After a whole year of stewing together in the same lecture hall, I can still walk past some of my batch-mates on the streets without recognizing them.
³ There was once in China, he knocked down a RMB 25 souvenir to just RMB 3. The man's an artist, I tell you.
⁴ I actually thought of telling him that if he did not send the chair on the promised date (again), I would not pay him in full. But I was, as always, too kind in matters of this nature.