Most Exclusive Dining Experience in Manipal

"Dinner at my house. Start cooking at 5.30 pm. Joining?"

Nickson

"Sure. What do I bring?"

Me, damn "semangat" want to help in grocery shopping or whatever

"Mug or bowl or plate with fork and spoon. Extra stuff like handkerchief also you can bring. Haha."

Nickson

.....

Me, crushed

Hi, thanks for staying tune, Dear Readers. At the moment, all I need is a good straight 18 hours sleep so no fancy-shmancy intro this time. Let's just drive straight in into the second issue of k0k bl0k's Manipal Epicurean Reviews *disjointed clapping*.

Nick, Vince and Lai Yin's Place

I received an invite a couple of days ago for an opportunity to sample the cuisines of the most exclusive fine dining place in the entirety of Manipal. In fact, it's so exclusive that less than 1% of the total population of Malaysian students here have even been given such a chance. You can't make reservations for this place and there's no menu for you to choose from what you would like for dinner. You can only eat when the chefs feel like cooking and eat whatever the chefs feel like making for you.

Eating out doesn't get any more exclusive than this.

The most probable reason why I was even considered as a guest was that I live in close proximity to the establishment. This is how close;

Map.

The two upper two floors of the white architect's nightmare on the left belongs to me while the red quadruplex on the left was shared by Lai Yin, Vincent and Nickson¹.

Chef Lai Yin. Better known as 'Mom'.

As expected, Chef Lai Yin prepared all the dishes single-handedly². Chef Vince chopped the cabbage and cooked the rice. Chef Nick made fruit salad. Me? I just sat there and talked a whole load of crap while they were busy preparing dinner. That's just how useful I am in the kitchen.

But I did help open a can of beans, braving its razor sharp edges, and undertook the perilous, hazard-fraught journey to the convenience store 25 metres away to buy a carton of fruit juice³. Songs should be struck in honour of my selfless sacrifices!

Chicken meat patties.

The first dish Lai Yin churned out was the Crispy, Golden-brown Chicken Meat Patties which would probably be quite at home between some slices of hamburger buns (I suggested as much). If I remember correctly, the minced chicken meat came out of a packet, marinated with soy sauce, and beaten with eggs before she plopped and sizzled them on the frying pan. Lai Yin complaint that she burnt it a little but frankly, I don't see why she fussed about that at all. In my opinion, all edible stuff must be slightly burnt. Cancer aside, burnt food tastes so much better - don't you agree?

Some greens.

Next up was Steamed Cabbage. I can't say much about that because - well, just how much can anyone talk about cabbage? How much can you talk about cabbage? Not much right?

I thought so.

And the grand finale was Baked Beans with Egg which I did not photograph because by that time, I was already sitting at the dining table with my fork and spoon in my hands, and my tongue unfurled all the way down to my bowl. But I'll say this; the woman certainly knows how to make good, fluffy omelettes. Whenever I try to make some, they always turn out flat and crispy (and smackaliciously burnt to charcoal bits, of course).

Need I say that that was the best dinner I've had since I've left Malaysia more than a month ago? Everything tasted so homey and familiar.

Ajinomoto! I love you!

And of course, those condiments, sauces and stuff that Lai Yin brought all the way from Malaysia helped a lot to bring the familiar taste to India too (such was her commitment to her craft). My only gripe was that she didn't break out the sesame oil and oyster sauce from her arsenal. If I have my way, every dish in this world would be smothered in sesame oil and oyster sauce (and burnt).

Which goes a long way to explain why you should never let me potter about in the kitchen or eat any of my creations.

Thanks again, o' Great Cooking Gods from the Quadruplex Next Door for having me over. And a special thank-you goes out to Nickson for his valuable demonstration that fruit salad does not go well at all with mayonnaise.

So, when is the next cook-over? *flash big, hopeful, puppy-dog eyes*

¹ The bottom right unit belongs to Lai Yin while the two first floor rooms belong to the boys. I have not a bloody clue who lives in the remaining unit.
² The formidable Lai Yin. Full distinction student and gastronomic extraordinaire. She's learning how to walk through walls next.
³ The Activ Peach & Apricot Mix has to be the best juice I've ever chugged. Buy some today, or live to regret you didn't.

***

And here's a tag from a certain girl who fancies herself to be a bunny;

Rabbit.

1) Name one person who made you smile last night.
I didn’t smile last night. I was doing something entirely different.

2) What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
Wishing that the Al-Qaeda would drop a bomb on the lecture hall. Nothing puts a smile on my face like coming to class and finding a mushroom cloud in its place.

3) What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Living. And dying. I’m doing two opposite things at the same time. How cool is that?

4) What was something that happened to you in 2006?
Broke up with the love of my life. Did a lot of stupid things I shouldn’t. Left Malaysia for India (heck of a deal, huh?). And grew up a little more, unfortunately.

5) What is the last thing you said aloud?
"Help me, God!" but since I don’t believe in Him, He refused to send me help. How very adult of him.

6) How many different things did you drink today?
Orange juice + pulp, and classic water – lots of it.

7) What color is your hairbrush?
Heck, I don’t even own a comb!

8) What was the last thing you paid for?
Crappy dinner and that orange juice + pulp.

9) Where were you last night?
Misery – sounds dramatic, ain’t it?

10) What colour is your front door?
For the love of memes, this has to be the dumbest question ever! Beige, if you must know.

11) Where do you keep your change?
Scrape that – this is even dumber.

12) What is the weather like today?
Sahara.

13) What is the best ice cream flavor?
Rum raisins. Because it got raisins. And rum. Especially rum.

14) What is something you are excited about?
That my life can’t possibly get any lower than it is now. So absolutely thrilled, I am. Woo hoo. Yawn.

15) Do you want to cut your hair?
Good question. Now ask me whether I need it or not.

16) Are you over the age of 25?
According to my blood cholesterol level, I'm at least 50 years old.

17) Do you talk a lot?
I write 20 blog posts a month on the average. C’mon, guess.

18) Do you watch The O.C.?
Nope. And that goes for Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy as well. House and Heroes only, hon.

19) Do you know anyone named Steven?
I know seven. Seven Stevens. Please, no more Stevens.

20) Do you make up your own words?
Lots. Like ‘quadruplex’. Betcha thought it was a real word.

21) Are you typically a jealous person?
Insanely and clinically so.

22) Name a friend whose name starts with the letter "A"
Asshole. In fact, I know many Assholes. Why are so many people such big Assholes?

23) Name a friend whose name starts with the letter "K"
Kathleen. Kathleen the Bombshell. Kathleen who believes in promiscuous sex with all her other friends whose names also starts with K. I wish.

24) Who’s the 1st person on your received calls list?
The Cane Furniture Guy. He called to tell me that he can’t send me the cane chair I ordered. He called me everyday since last week telling me the same thing. First, it was because his brother was ill. Then, his motorcycle broke down. Now, it’s traffic jam. I mean, is his brother doing the deliveries? How is he going to send my chair on a motorcycle even if it did not break down? Plus, if he was coming on a motorcycle, why should a wee bit of jam matter? And here’s the clincher; since when is the road between Manipal and Udupi ever jammed? Asshole.

25) What did the last text message you received say?
Something hurtful. But that’s okay.

26) Do you chew on your straws?
I don’t like to use straws. Using straws always look so cissy to me for some reason. A manly man should gulp down his orange juice + pulp - not sip from it like a fairy.

27) Do you have curly hair?
A bushful, baby. Use your imagination.

28) Where is the next place you’re going?
Hell – because I don’t believe in God.

29) Who is the rudest person in your life?
My little sister, especially when I pinch her chocolates.

30) What is the last thing you ate?
The last pieces of kuih dodol which I brought from Malaysia to give to my mentor. It’s his fault. He went on leave.

31) Is marriage in your future?
I also see divorce. And alimony. And my saying goodbye to my kids. Life sucks.

32) What is the best movie you’ve seen in the past two weeks?
Little Miss Sunshine. I smiled like an idiot through the entire show.

33) Is there anyone you like right now?
Kathleen. Too bad she doesn’t exist.

34) When was the last time you did the dishes?
2004.

35) Are you currently depressed?
You must be psychic.

36) Did you cry today?
I’m working on it.

37) Why did you answer and post this?
Because I hate to disappoint - scared later Rabbit cry because no one does her tag, haha.

38) Tag 5 people who would do this survey.
No. I refuse. Let the pain and suffering end here. Down with tags! Ban memes and surveys!


Anti-meme activist,
k0k s3n w4i