Saturday, May 26, 2007

Dear McDonald's


"You know what? I'm going to keep sending emails to McDonald's till they open a restaurant here in Manipal. You guys are going to crown me a hero when I succeed."

Me

"Haha. Good luck."


Inn Shan

maharaja mac

2 Grilled chicken patties with a smoke-flavoured mayonnaise, fresh onions, tomatoes, processed cheddar cheese in a toasted sesame seeded bun.

pizzamcpuff

Mixed vegetables (carrot, beans, capsicum, onion and green peas), mozzarella cheese mixed with tomato sauce and spice blend coated with a savoury dough.

paneersalsawrap

A traditional Mexican soft flat bread that envelops crispy golden brown cottage cheese encrusted with a Mexican Cajun coating, and a salad mix of iceberg lettuce, carrot, red cabbage and celery, served with eggless mayonnaise, tangy Mexican Salsa sauce and cheddar cheese.

mcveggie

Breaded fried vegetable patty consist of peas, carrots, green, beans, red capsicum, potatoes, onions, rice and seasoning. The burger also includes lettuce, eggless mayonnaise in a toasted sesame seed bun.

mccurrypan

A rich B├ęchamel eggless sauce mixed with exotic vegetables like broccoli, baby corn, mushrooms, red capsicum and freshly baked on rectangular spiced bread with a cheese topping.

mcalootikki

Fried breaded potato & peas patty that is flavoured with a special spice mix, fresh tomato slices, onion, and veg. tomato mayonnaise between toasted buns.

crispy chinese

A crispy patty that is seasoned with oriental flavours, topped with a creamy vegetarian Schezwan sauce and crunchy iceberg lettuce and served between two fresh buns.

chickenmexicanwrap

A traditional Mexican soft flat bread that envelops crispy golden brown chicken encrusted with a Mexican Cajun coating, and a salad mix of iceberg lettuce, carrot, red cabbage and celery, served with eggless mayonnaise, tangy Mexican Salsa sauce and cheddar cheese.

chickenmcgrill

Grilled chicken patty flavoured with mint mayonnaise, and dressed with fresh onions and tomatoes in a toasted bun.

chickenmccurrypan

A blend of Italian tomato curry sauce tempered with thyme, basil and oregano mixed with chicken and capsicum, freshly baked on a rectangular spiced bread and topped with cheese.

Note: Images and food blurbs courtesy of www.mcdonaldsindia.com

Ronald McDonald
My man, Ronnie McDee (or Ronald McDonald to you un-hep folks)

Dear Ronnie McDee,

Hi, I am a second year medical student from Malaysia and I am writing to you from the university town of Manipal, Karnataka. I just want you to know that I am an enormous fan of your excellent, assembly-line-mass-produced, obesity inducing express cuisine (a term I prefer over the vulgar colloquialism of "fast food"). Long live the McD empire! May all those who stand against your inexorable capitalistic march to global dominance contract monkey syphilis and die.

I write to you, Ron, to draw your attention that the only mainstream express cuisine franchises currently in operation in Manipal are Domino’s pizzeria and Subway’s sandwich joint which, between them, enjoys a lucrative, unchallenged full monopoly on the lard-assed populace of this unassuming township. What you and your army of corporate vultures are probably unaware of is just how wildly profitable that monopoly really is. Let me paint you a picture, Ronnie;
Imagine a town which – at any given time – houses at least 15,000 university students between the ages of 18 and 25. A good 600 to 700 from that figure are homesick undergrads from Malaysia who would barf their stomachs out if they have to eat another bloody parotta. There’s also another 200 or so Americans living here and as you probably already know, McD practically makes up their staple diet back home. But here, they are forced instead to make do with Domino’s pizzas and Subway’s submarine sandwiches because there isn’t a single proper burger place to be found (Doesn't that make you sick? Doesn't the make your blood boil, Ronnie?). Having so many teenagers and young adults being monetarily capable of receiving tertiary education, and university lecturers and doctors with way-above-average paycheck, Manipal’s population can easily afford (and rightly deserve) a higher standard of living. They should have the privilege and convenience of stuffing their faces silly with junk food commercialized crap pricier, semi-nourishing, pseudo-victuals anytime they want.

Economy 101, Ron; supply versus demand. Currently, supply is wee Frodo Baggins, while demand is Godzilla’s sumo-wrestling grandpa. What are you going to do about that?

Tell you what, Ronnie. I’ll strike you a deal. If you open a branch here in Manipal – preferably a 24-hour one – I promise that I will spend each and every mealtime in your establishment (but please serve Sausage McMuffin with Egg™ for breakfast). Will you shake on that?

I await your answer eagerly, Ronnie. Think it through and do what’s right. Think of the money you can wring out of us poor hungry suckers.



P.S. If you’re not interested, I’ll just write to Burger King then.



Your average McGlutton,
k0k s3n w4i


P.S. Fellow Manipalites, do your part and go spam McDonald’s India’s inbox with our pleas at myfeedback@mcdonaldsindia.com. Or you can call them at 66000666 (No, I’m not kidding. They really use the Beast's number for their delivery hotline).

Addendum (12.02.2011): I heard that they finally opened a McDonald's outlet in Manipal, years after I have left. Bah. Anyway, I hate McD's now.



Building a better Manipal,
k0k s3n w4i

15 comments:

pinksterz said...

good luck with the erm, attempt.

note: i can easily get any of MCDs, burger kings, KFC, PIZZA HUTS, BURGER KING, HARDEES.......etc. etc. in egypt. at anytime.

aih, did i just make you drool mister?

niCk said...

chicken maharaja mac is simply awesome!!!
and i agree in spamming McD email!

innshan said...

I want McD too.
Good luck k0k. If ever they're going to open a franchise here..u'll b my hero,dude..

sXydeViL said...

DAMN! isit for real? Im gonna run a campaign in MMMC through student council. SINCHAN, u in for it?

fuolornis said...

*pats sen wai*

gd luck man. I promise that if they open an outlet here, the seat behind my bike is yours. I serve you 24/7 o master

mrbherng said...

I guess they will open one if more of you send letters/email to them... but hack.. I don't visit them much anyway.. prefer BK.

Rabbit said...

Ah! I want Chicken McCurry Pan!

Oh Wait..

On a second thought, I'll prefer a McGlutton.

One McGlutton, please. =P

innshan said...

lolz..yes! susu! make it a student council project! get those kmc ppl and other twinning college to join the campaign~ XD

Kit said...

maharaja SUCKS.

Innocent^^Guy said...

hey the Mc Curry Pan looks real interesting...haha

Mischique said...

I see krabby patties.......*eyes glazing over*. I hope you know what krabby patties are..LOL Love the letter to Ronnie though. I didn't know there were 200 Americans living there..Wow..

michellesy the potential India McD conoisseur said...

THAT'S what they serve at McD's in India? *opens eyes very very wide*

Dang - I'm tempted to try it too, just for the heck of it!

Good luck with inviting the unholiest of the unholies, er, I mean Ronnie McD to Manipal =D

aya* said...

hahahahahaa. sausage mcmuffin(minus the egg) rules! how come india's mcD so gempak! do they hav the usual mcchicken filet of fish and stuff ?

goodluck on your petition.

mcD pwns BK anytime!! :P

khanggee said...

kok.

ASK THEM TO GO OVER KELANTAN TO OPEN MORE BRANCHES. will you, please?

thanks for inserting my wish into ur letter to ronnie. thank you.

*please tell them kelantanese do eat chicken. and yes, we drink coke as well. please.

oh yah.

check out damien rice's 9.

tell me ur feedback.

and write reviews on music. recommendations wei.

and yes. i miss ur ass.

kni.kgee.

k0k s3n w4i said...

@pinksterz
I hate you. You ARE evil. *cries*

@nick
I haven't even tasted it before!!! Help spam la!

@innshan
You want then help la! If only me sure kena ignore 1.

@sxydevil
You go girl! Get the student council to write an official letter to them. I'll even give you their mailing address!

@fuolornis
I shall remember this pledge of yours XD

@mrbherng
In Malaysia, I prefer BK. But in India, where beef is a no-no... Let's just say McD's menu is a lot more attractive here.

@rabbit
*gasp* Cannibal Bunny!!! *runs away

@kit
No matter. There's still so many stuff to choose from ;p

@innocent^^guy
Why else do you think I'm spamming their mail for anyway? LOL

@mischique
C'mon, I'm a big Spongebob fan also la wei! The Americans here are all of Indian heritage mia. Only got one or two Kwai Lo among them.

@michellesy
Their menu is what inspired this crusade, hon.

@aya*
Yea, they have the usual stuff - but why bother posting them here right? And thanks! Gonna need all the luck I can get.

@khanggee
WTH, you at Australia now rite? Buat apa you want more McD in Kelantan?
I actually got a couple of music review post in draft - will post them up on days I got nothing to write about.
At the moment, you can go try this band called 'Cute is what we aim for' and 'The Fratellis' (album: Costello Music)
Miss your ass too.