Friday, July 06, 2007

The k0k bL0k Evening News Edition

"Do you know how Patrick injured his foot?"

Me, to Li Lian

"No, how?"

Li Lian

"He leapt off Vincent's balcony. He was trying to impress you."


"Guys are so dumb."

Li Lian

A classic Li Lian quote. I have a Word Document full of it in case I can't think of any quotes to put in my posts.

Patrick did in fact leapt off Vincent's balcony and is currently riding the Crutch Express. Don't ask me why.

And better don't ask him either.

Proof of how boring the lecture classes are in my school.

Lecture-induced boredom is reaching an all-time high in MMMC. Students are falling asleep in class like koalas with diazepam shoved up their little fluffy butts. This phenomenon is very clearly evidenced by the picture above in which a resourceful young man actually attended his afternoon lectures with his blanket.

Pillows are yet to be sighted but I remain optimistic about that.

Alien lifeforms sighted in Manipal!

Water sanitation in the town of Manipal is reaching an all-time low. All Manipalites should be wary of the eateries they frequent as cases of amebiasis, dysentery and cholera would no doubt be erupting everywhere very soon. Due to the same water problem, the ornamental fountain pool located outside of the library building is currently experiencing an overgrowth of some icky, slimy, diarrhoea-coloured thing which formed diseased-looking, air-filled sacs.

I spent a total of 5 minutes prodding the disgusting looking air-sacs with the tip of my umbrella and clapping gleefully when they popped. I am happy to report that even though the fountain pool is no longer ornamental, it had become somewhat entertaining.

"So where's your pig tattoo?"

Me, asking Li Lian during a Forensic lecture today
on identification of people using tattoos,
referencing her strange fixation on pigs

"On my butt"

Li Lian

It's always worth talking to her.

Look at how happy that security bloke seemed.

My university's administration is reaching an all-time stupid. Now, anyone who wants to enter the library must carry the "Combo Card" which the university made us pay to make. The glass doors were magnetically locked and I was denied access into the building because I did not have the said card with me. I tried sneaking in by following some people who actually brought that that dumb card with them but I was foiled by the security guard stationed there and was made to march out in a degraded and embarrassing manner. I was informed that a notice had been put up right outside the entrance earlier to warn students about the implementation of this magnetic lock system.

That warning notice would no doubt have alerted all the über nerds that frequent the library every single day. What they have neglected to take into account is people like me, who avoids the library like it's syphilis and only visits it because he needs to do some last minute preparations for a Problem-Based Learning class due right after lunch and does not own the Arora & Arora Textbook of Parasitology (which allegedly "contains all the information you need on the subject").

The representative from the administration office sent to coerce the money from our pockets for that idiot card explained that it is an ATM card which also doubles as our student ID card and library access card - that's why it's called a "Combo Card". You'll have to threaten me with syphilis to make me carry around a card with that lame a name (haha, lame a name).

Apparently, the fact that I'm Chinese have failed to convince the security guard that I'm a student here. He must have thought I travelled all the way to India to some backwater Indian town just to break into his precious library.

Fortunately, I had the bona fide certificate proving I'm an MMMC student with me. I just collected it from the International Centre of Health Sciences (the place where we keep our lecturers) for the purpose of renewing my permit of stay in India.

In your face, minimally-waged security bloke!

"You cannot pass," bellowed Gandalf the cleaning wench.

My luck is reaching an all-time crappy. Just when I was going to retrieve that Arora & Arora Textbook of Parasitology (which still allegedly "contains all the information you need on the subject") from the shelves, I found that that particular aisle at the Microbiology section was being scrubbed by two Indian cleaning ladies. One was manning (womanning, whatever) the industrial strength scrub-o-matic while the other was piloting a vacuum cleaner to suck up the suds. I had to stand and wait there for ten minutes before they were done with that part of the floor.

Then, I had to waste another 15 minutes of searching for that elusive Arora & Arora Textbook of Parasitology (which, I supposed, have not yet change its allegation that it "contains all the information you need on the subject"). I gave up finally and selected three other promising-looking textbooks which together, I hoped, "contains all the information you need on the subject" as well.

I had to skip lunch because I spent my entire lunch hour trying my best to wrestle an adequate amount of stuff from that three very non-reader-friendly textbooks.

Okay, that's all the news I have today. For the weather report and sports updates, and why veteran Bollywood actor Anil Kapoor shaved his chest hair, go switch on your TV and watch the regular news.

Good Evening.

P.S. To that resourceful young man with a blanket in the first picture, please let me know if you do not want your photograph to appear in this site.

P.P.S. A lawsuit does not count as "letting me know".

Your friendly neighborhood newscaster,
k0k s3n w4i


Dr.Vishaal Bhat said...

"That warning notice would no doubt have alerted all the über nerds that frequent the library every single day."

Not all those who visit the library daily are über nerds. Me for example have no choice but to blog through the internet section here. Yet to get my lap top thing.

innshan said...

haha,i went to d library that evening,just to realise that v nid this combo's über cool,you know,flashing ur card on some 'touch n' go' like machine and d door will open...

i was wondering what's with that air-sac?sound gross..i thnk i'll go poke it when i'm free tmr.

and that batch20 guy pic, you can always censor part of his face to hide his identify. haha.

Jen said...

oooo i would absolutely love to join you poking those little creepy-looking air-sacs till they pop! such glee!

i have a strange obsession with bubble wrap, you know. i once bought a sheet of bubble wrap. just to sit down and pop it. all the stress just melts away =)

and i dont need a pillow or blankie to bring into classes for naps *scoffs* i've mastered the elusive art of dozing off with my eyes open enough to feign concsiousness.

pinksterz said...

I spent a total of 5 minutes prodding the disgusting looking air-sacs with the tip of my umbrella and clapping gleefully when they popped.

you were acting cute IMO. lol. honestly. but the air filled sacs disgusting looking. ewwwwww....

combo card sounds like some fast food only member discount card.

Dr.Vishaal Bhat said...

Lagi is hindi for "is it a" in this particular sentence. Generally it means "are you hit".

k0k s3n w4i said...

dr. vishaal bhat
I thought all doctors are über nerds? I expected myself to be one too when I joined this course.
Thanks for the translation! Now I know who I can ask if i ever need another word interpreted.

so did u have to go back and take the card or something (or did u carry it around?)
The bubbly things are gross alright. have fun! I didn't censor his face so he can get glamer mah. I'm a kind man.

I used to have an obsession with bubble wrap too! but that was primary school time. You can get bubble wrap without buying a radio or a TV? How? How? Tell me!!! Err, it's not that I want to buy any.. or ...err...
ur sleep style sound uncomfortable. my method's better; I slept so often that the lecturers don't even care anymore.

I wasn't acting cute. all I did was poke at them. the clapping bit is just a bit of literary dramatization - that's all.
I DO NOT clap with glee. I... err... grunted in approval?

pinksterz said...

i know. but never mind. i still like to think you were clapping with glee when it popped :P