Monday, June 18, 2007

Ain't Life Bitchy?


"... estrogen cream applied vaginally has produced gynaecomastia in the male partner."

Essentials of Medical Pharmacology,
by K. D. Tripathi MD

Gynaecomastia means "man-grow-titties".

Listen girls. If your boyfriend is dumping you and asking for one last fuck, just say yes. Tell him you want your last time to be special and that a girlfriend of yours recommended this awesome lube...

Everything felt wrong while I was walking back from my Pharmacology paper this evening.

Everything.

The rain is coming down at the wrong volume. It's too heavy for me forgo the use my umbrella but at the same time, it's not quite heavy enough for me to NOT look like some fag-fairy that's too much of a princess to close my umbrella and weather a wimpy drizzle. My socks were soaked and I was making, "squish-squish" sounds with every step I took. Near the Greens, I spotted a dead rat. A crow flew down and landed on the carcass and proceeded to rip its little stomach open. I groped for my camera in my bag, hoping to get a photo of the scene - but what d'you know? - I left my camera at home today! Of all the devil-damned-days I can choose to leave my camera at home, I have to chose today!

I totally lost all mood there and then - not even the sight of a crow eviscerating a dead rat with its beak could cheer me up. With a long sigh, I went on my way with my cissy umbrella keeping the cissy rain off my cissy head, and with a pair of cissy "squish-squish" shoes on my cissy feet.

Everything felt wrong.

You know what else is wrong? The Bernoulli's Principle of Aerodynamic Lift, that's what.

That crap they force-fed us with in upper-secondary school and college; about how the air moves faster over the upper-curved surface of an aircraft's wing and thus creating a low-pressure region there, allowing the higher pressure below the wing to lift it? That crap is nonsense. Here's an ARTICLE - go waste half an hour of your life reading through all that Physics bullshit.

Yes, we're still in Lame-Meaningless-Posts-Week here in k0k bL0k. Here's a Lame-Meaningless-Picture for you;


That's me right there. I was a Fifth Former at that time (when they were still trying to teach me that Bernoulli crap). I was a prefect back then, hence the shiny white slacks. I sure as heck didn't wear them because they were at the fucking pinnacle of high fucking fashion.

I wish I can shout to him through this picture now and tell him to stay the fuck away from med schools.

Look at that nitwit - all smiling and oblivious of his hellish fate three years later stuck in a place that has cows but no Big Macs.

What a twit.

Drumsticks
Two KFC drunksticks.

I was in a really foul mood. It was so foul that I bought two - not one, mind you, but TWO KFC drumsticks from Your Choice Fast Food. The 'K' in KFC stands for Karnataka, by the way. You should hear how the boss of Your Choice Fast Food sounded every time he gets a chance to use that catchphrase of his;

"Boooss, KFC - Karnataka Fried Chickin!!! Hot hot, boooss!!!"

He must really think that he's OMG-genius in realising that he could substitute 'Kentucky' with 'Karnataka'. And yes, that's how he pronounce 'boss' and 'chicken' too.



You might ask how two KFC drumsticks were going to help my mood.



Well, this was how;



By devouring both of them with gusto while Fifi and her Mom watched on hungrily.

Drumsticks2

Who's got drumsticks now, BITCHES?! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Well, what d'you know? Misery does love company after all. I feel so much better now.


Okay, that's all for today. Don't any of you even dare ask me how the Pharmacology paper went, or you'll win a free trip to see the Taj Mahal. By the sole of my boots I swear,
I'll personally kick you there.



Monday hates me,
k0k s3n w4i

26 comments:

Rabbit said...

Why the KFC drumsticks look satu macam one ah? Oh wait, it's Karnataka Fried Chickin! Okay, fine then. =P

So bad lah u! Give la Fifi one bite. =P

Eh, how was ur paper? *runs*

bevE said...

that chickin is sO small. o.O

yeh I watched Keeping Mum - but I didn't like it as much. Yesh I know she acted as Prof McGonagall, but I never really liked the HP movies.

so. how was your pharmacology paper? =P i care about you, really I do.

michellesy (comfort eater par excellence, particularly during winter months) said...

ROTFLMAO - gynaecomastia indeed!

Remind me never to cross you, dear sir, for your retribution would be particularly vengeful and inventive I fear =P

*pssst* I think it takes more than once to work though.

And a physiology lecturer once assured us that imbibing one beer too many over the period of decades would produce the same man-boob effect.

If you can wait that long, that is *winks*. But the Klingons have always known that revenge is a dish best served cold =D

About your exam, you'll pull through, I'm sure of it.

And I take back what I said about you being a Boy Scout bleeding-heart - you were so mean to Fifi (+ Mom)! Although having said that, I don't know if Karnataka Fried Chicken is included in the major canine food groups.

And comfort eating rocks OK XD

Innocent^^Guy said...

Looks freaking disgusting the KFC...looks like "kana f**k chicken" to me...

pinksterz said...

physics is no bullshit lah! it's fun! me likey physics! me likey physics! me likey physics!

free trip to see taj mahal?

i doubt you kicking power can do that.

unless you use a physics formula on tenanga dan keupayaan and figure alll those jarak and stuff out first. XD

Wan Yean said...

u've already got that doctor look since form 5, i'd say.

innshan said...

i'm hungry..do u have your choice tel num?

pinksterz said...

i forgot to mention in previous comment on this:

YOU ARE A CHICKEN THAT EATS ANOTHER CHICKEN!

and i still love physics than histology. XD

bubbly soda said...

lol! YES IT WAS A HORRIBLE DAY FOR ME AS WELL! Maybe I should buy KFC and eat infront of my dogs. Or eat roti canai in front of overseas friends. I need to make someone suffer with me. lol!!!

baby sa said...

sigh, raining season.
it didn't go any better in penang as well.
same destiny my pal:p

neway, the chicken looks pretty small...and I mean really really puny compare to the real Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Jen said...

does that even qualify as a wing? a pigeon has a wingspan bigger than that. i've seen potato chips bigger than karnataka's.

you could fit.. oh i dont know.. 142 in a barrel? and still have room to put the mashed potatoes on the side.

k0k s3n w4i's said...

@Rabbit
*kicks Rabbit to Taj Mahal*
They each got the bone, k. I only ate the skin and a bit of meat.

@bevE
I fell in love with Dame Maggie Smith (her talent, that is) after I watched Gosford Park last year. I love her trademark "on the verge of hysterics but still trying to be calm" expression. she's one of a kind, that woman.
*kicks bevE to Taj Mahal to join Rabbit. Send me Hope Mirrlee's Lud-in-the-Mist if you really care :p ... I've been hunting for that book for 3 years already.

@michellesy
Imbibing beers over decades can also make a man pregnant. beer is cissy, scientifically proven XD
I didn't know you're a Trekkie (i'm not, btw).
I actually bought the drumsticks so I can take the picture above (and it gave me a good laugh when I see the result). they did that the last time I bought chicken for them so I thought I'd get my camera ready the next time I do that. I thought you'd think better of me. :pinkpau's signature hmph face:
P.S. up the estrogen dose. dose his drinking water and beer too. and his shampoo.

@Shi Han
It tastes okay though. I'll bring some back for you next time if you really think they are f**kable XD

@pinksterz
I hated physics last time (tho I still got 1A in SPM, LOL).
Did I say I was going to use just one kick?
*kicks pinksterz to Taj Mahal anyway for calling me a chicken*

@Wan Yean
Nerdy, goody-two-shoes look huh? Sad case.

@innshan
nope. but I think Shaki got.

Melly
Roti canai won't work on me. I have so much food that resembles roti canai here that when I went back to Malaysia the last time, I didn't even eat any.

@baby sa
KFC's chickins are on steroids. Karnataka's chickins... well... it's India, okay, LOL

@Jen
They are about a buck a piece. you can fill a bucket faster with these for less $$$ than KFC.

michelleg said...

*gasp* no, i dun deserve to be in ur blog. hahaha..

the "kfc" super small. but u know the kfc drumstick in msia is shrinking as well so almost the same lar.

bevE said...

can't you try ordering the book in kino or something?

k0k s3n w4i's said...

@michelleg
why is everyone insisting that they don't deserve a mention in my blog? (except Shaki of course, everytime I told him that I quoted him, he'll go "quote me more! it'll hike up your readership tenfold!")

@beve
Everytime I went back to Malaysia, I get to stay less than a month. And ordering fr Kinokuniya/Borders always took at least a month. Plus, I live in Malacca and it's not cheap to drive up and down KL all the time. I've been waiting forever for people to give that book to me on my b'day :(

michellesy said...

"Imbibing beers over decades can also make a man pregnant" - ROTFL! I didn't know that was a surefire way to turn into Mr Mom.

Btw, I'm not a Trekkie, that quote just happened to appeal LOL.

And don't worry K0K, I know you're a closet bleeding-heart cum Boy Scout - if I ever happen to run into you in real-life, I'll be sure to ask you if you've done your good deed for the day, OK? *winks*

Letting FiFi lick your toes counts as a good deed btw =D

"P.S. up the estrogen dose. dose his drinking water and beer too. and his shampoo" - Another reason for me never, ever to run afoul of you, dear sir. For a Boy Scout, you're certainly uncharacteristically virulent.

Or does the bleeding-heart, warm-and-fuzzy feelin' of love only extend to the furry four-legged variety? =)

michelleg said...

haha, are you hinting ur fans/readers to get u a bday present? if im not mistaken ur bday somewhere in aug rite????

michellesy said...

LOL, K0K is certainly hinting *winks*

Btw dude, Lud-In-The-Mist isn't a book you can lay your hands easily on, not in the Asia Pacific region anyway.

I know - I asked at Borders here =P

A month's waiting list sounds about right, cos it's more easily available in the States.

ps: Bastille Day woot! Much cooler than 4th of July XD

michellesy said...

Kesimpulannya, get your fans/ groupies/ hard-core KOK's Blog followers in the US/ UK to courier it back for you =P

kyliemc said...

i knoe d gurl who stood bside u in d pic..she's frm ijc,rite?my junior :D a prefect too..but i can recall her name..

k0k s3n w4i's said...

@michellesy
Mr. Preggers maybe, but not mom. I dun think there's a bundle of joy hidden there in the beer belly.
I'm rarely, if ever, nice to any individual of my own species. I'm strange that way.
I was never a scout. I was in the Red Crescent society. I only use their honour to defile it.
P.S. You're hunting for Lud-in-the-Mist too?
P.S.S. Bastille Day! Damn the Yankees with their Freedom Fries!

@michelleg
Shhh... don't blow my cover.
Aug??? I remember your bday is in Jan okay! (7th right?). You even got my month wrong... Sad.

@kyliemc
Hi there, Kylie! (darn, I like ur name). The girl is the michelleg that commented a couple of posts before yours ;)

michellesy said...

"I was never a scout. I was in the Red Crescent society. I only use their honour to defile it"

ROTFL!

I'll bet they are rueing the day they ever let your shadown darken the door of the Bulan Sabit Merah room XD

ps: I asked at Borders about Lud-In-The-Mist only because you seemed rapt about it.
And you know I have great regard for the reads you recommend, Dear Book Reviewer/ Critic =)

pps: Bastille Day woot! Down with the profligate decadent aristocracy! A unique, if somewhat gory, day to be birthed into this world. But then, you like gore don't you? *winks*

michelleg said...

aarghh!! how could u remember mine. haha. i will ask my bro later whens urs.

oh and i think i know who's kyliemc. she's senior n a prefect in my skool. hhaha.. small world!

michelleg said...

yeshh. ur bday contains these 3 numbers 741 jumbled up. hehe.. now i know why u gave that hint earlier on..

k0k s3n w4i's said...

@michellesy
Oh, i fancy you misconstrued my statement. It's the SCOUT's honour I am using.
Gore is Hardcore! Me likes! THIS - IS - SPARTAAA!!!

@michelleg
I actually already prepared a post for my birthday.
U managed to wiki Bastille Day or something?

michellesy said...

LOL - Scout's Honour indeed!

You, sir, are one devious fellow, in fact, a fellow after Mr Norrell's heart =P

And have you already written a birthday post?

By then, I'll hopefully be happily ensconced in the Land of Kick-Ass Char Koay Teow but Sucky Internet Connection.

But I'll definitely make a point of reading it on that day, if no other =)