Friday, April 13, 2007

FLAVA 2007

"... we all know that it is possible for humans to get a porcine or bovine tapeworm infestation from the consumption of undercooked pork or beef. Can anyone tell me how it is possible for someone to contract a case of tapeworm infestation from a dog?"

Miss Daphne Vincent Santhosh, Microbiology lecturer

"Eat a dog."

Me


"Eat an undercooked dog"

Shaki

"Rape a dog."

Li Lian

FLAVA 2007.

Yesterday night, I was suppose to be swotting for this week's Pharmacology SDL* topic, but being the artful procrastinator culture-lover I am, I have opted instead to take in the yearly Indian cuisine and ethnic-culture fair held at the KMC** Greens. I rationalised that this was a real gem of a chance for me to get out of some potentially productive hard work sample the exciting flavours and culinary creations from all over India. Should I have missed it, I would have to wait for next year's fair. Yes sirree, I must definitely go!

*SDL: Self-Directed Learning. Every week, a couple of hours is alloted for each subject where students will be picked at random to stand in front of the class to give an oral presentation of a preordained topic. It's also known as Sudden-Death Lambastics because ill-prepared students who performed poorly would be screwed/insulted/lambasted proper by the lecturer (especially when Ms. Daphne Deathstrike takes the class)
**KMC: Kasturba Medical College, the local nerd vivarium.


One hungry nation. Welcome to India.

The fair is called FLAVA, which I guessed was an acronym for something forgettably lame. In this FLAVA thingy, KMC students which came from different parts of the the Indian subcontinent would set up stalls to vend food/snacks found in their respective locality.

The Canadian stall. I wasn't aware that Canada was part of India.

Unfortunately, I lost my appetite after seeing just how difficult it is to make fight my way through the throng to actually get to the front of one of these stalls. No one queues at all. Bloody piranhas.

Ever have a picnic after dark before?

Ravin' - Bollywood style.

Aside the eats, there are also dance performances all through the night. The Indians are really big on dancing. I mean, there's a dance and singing scene in practically every Hindi movie ever made. Not to critique but when I first watched a Bollywood film, my jaw dropped clean off my face. It was a bloody and vendetta-ish kind of flick with lots of brutal fights, rapes, and things that explodes - and groovy dancing with a streetful of strangers?

The incongruity upsets my tidy (haha) mind.

Long way from home.

For a sum of Rupees (I don't know how much but I'm sure it's outrageous), you get to ride a camel for a measly minute from the middle to the side of the field, and back again. After that, you'll get off and find your butt hurting, and that you smell like a camel. I got pretty close and I can tell you this; You DO NOT want to smell like camels.

I'm sure forcing the poor beast to carry obese medical students all night long amounts to animal cruelty. And if the fat-asses doesn't kill the camel, boredom probably will.
TRIVIA: This big guy is properly called a Dromedary or Arabian Camel, identifiable by its single hump. It's a native of North Africa and Western Asia. The ones with two humps are called Bactrian Camels, and are found further east.

Sashini (front) and Lauren, my class rep.

No camels here.

It took us just half an hour to agree that we're not having fun at all (all we had between us was a plate of greasy Canadian fries and one ugly Canadian sausage). We headed straight to the Coffee Day*** in the library after that. Sze Yin ordered a cup of hot lemon tea (which she insisted that she liked very much and ordered regularly, and which I thought tasted like vomit). Halfway through the cup, she stopped drinking and said, "Yer, after you said that, it really tastes like vomit now!"

Thanks to me, hot lemon tea is one of those simple pleasures in life that is forever ruined for her.

And no, I did not study for the Pharmacology SDL later that night. I watched episode 18 of season 3 of House instead.


Does not smell like camel (honest!),
k0k s3n w4i

***India's answer to expensive, pseudo-sophisticated caf├ęs that calls coffee funny Italian names like Cappuccino, Americano, Ikano, Espresso Con Panna and Tesco Kanina

4 comments:

michellesy the cynic =) said...

Rape a dog + Tesco KNN = crazed laughter

What better way to spend a Friday night than to laugh myself into a bellyache.
Hope your Friday night is looking more exciting than mine (or what's left of mine anyway)

Killer writing btw, I think I might have found a new blog to stalk =)

k0k s3n w4i said...

michellesy
Fridays are pretty unexciting in backwater Indian towns like Manipal, haha. There's no malls, no clubs (ok, there's one but it's crap), no theatres and not even one fastfood restaurant.

Lesser men have gone insane :|

Don't you have a blog I can stalk too?

michellesy said...

i blog but sporadically, oh awesome mortal who has not gone insane in the backwaters of Manipal.

the aforementioned blog is on Friendster, so may i have permission to friend you? (eh, sounds like kindergarden only)

can i grab your username/ email/ thingamajig pretty please so i can add you? =) or you could email it to me at xy_luna@yahoo.com if you didn't want to holler it out here, privacy and all y'know.

k0k s3n w4i said...

@michellesy

I've sent the friend request to you. Friend me ah, okay?

You missed a "yet" in your "Oh awesome mortal" address for me. :)