Sunday, August 31, 2008

It's Just Me Now

"I am a man who would fight for your honour,
I'll be the hero you're dreaming of,
We'll live forever, knowing together,
That we did it all for the glory of love.

Glory Of Love by Peter Cetera


Who will sing this song with me now?


It's been barely an hour after he's left. And here I am sobbing at a 17-inch laptop screen like a lost little child with nowhere to go. I never realized I could feel so alone till the moment I helped him heave his heavy suitcase aboard the bus & watched forlornly as it rumbled away. This time unfortunately, I wasn't onboard. "Please don't go," I whispered to no one in particular. But I guess it was too late. It's just me now, I thought to myself.

I don't know how my feet found their way back to my room. But I knew as I sat on the bed, I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. Not with this alien sense of emptiness encroaching upon me. Every little thing reminds me of him. The empty space at the corner where his luggage used to be, his toothpaste on the table, the smell of his hair on my pillow & his Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman. I don't know how I'll ever be able to finish that book without crying.

I long for his voice & his fake complaints. The way he never fails to make me laugh or giggle with everything he says. I miss our dice games too. But I guess its just me now... holding on to fragments & slivers of memories of you.

You've asked me twice, "What was your favourite part of the trip?"
"The animals," I always replied.
But in reality, you are my favourite part of the trip, baby. You've given me the best birthday present ever. Thank you :)


Wants to walk again,
Ph0ebe

7 comments:

michellesy phames-fangurl said...

Awwwww hon, there isn't anything I can say/ do to make you feel batter (save to wave a magic wand and tranport James back to you side!).

So all I can offer is a *hug*
No, a *bear hug*

=)

bevE said...

feebsie. you are SO. annoying.

List of Things You've Annoyed Me with with This Post Alone. :

1. you didn't come online and msg me. >_>

2. you wrote what i wanted to write, you put it in better words and expressed almost all i wanted to get out (thanks)

3. you made me sad. now i feel like crying T_T (not literally as it would be embarrassing =.= i'm not at home for one.)

4. ugh.

5. i'm sorry i haven't updated >.<

6. do u want to hear an emo song? t.t COME ONLINE.

Betsy said...

Thanks for the birthday wish :)

I'll be your reporter and monitor my bro when he's back! xD

k0k s3n w4i said...

you forgot Pete's homo dance T^T. We MUST watch it again xDxD.

Aw don't cry baby. we'll be seeing each other soon in Feb, okay. Then we can go walking again - even further than the 14 km's we did from Dolphin's Nose.

You have been the most amazing travel mate, baby. Let's do Thailand next :P

xoxo

fubi said...

michsy: thanks mischsy T_T *hugs bck* i do wish u had magical powers.

beve: my connection went wonky afta tht. it stil is T_T sowwy *sniffs* i wrote wht u 1ted 2rite? so coool o.O i ws pretty sad whn i wrote it2. i feels better now bt not much *hugs beve* i1 hear emo song!! i like those :D

betsy: yay! thanks ^_^ *cough you've got my number now cough" hope u had a great birthday :D i noe mine's gonna b sucky T_T ur bro's not here :(

baby: wheeeee :D I1 go chatuchak 1st! yes we shld so b evil n laugh at pete again *stiffles giggle* I MISS YOU KOK SEN WAI!! T^T birthday ruiner. hmpf T^T

Betsy said...

Happy Birthday Lena =D

Try and enjoy your day~!

fubi said...

betsy: hehe. ur so fast ^_^ thanks a lot *beams*