"... with an overwhelming, surprising transformation..."A line from the theme song in the video below.
There are so many things wrong with this I don't know which I want to piss on first.
How many of you grew up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as your heroes in your kindergarten days? I'm guessing that there's not many since most you were either girls at that age (I still hope you are) or haven't been born yet (I hope you are now). If you've never known the original TMNT stories, you probably won't be able to see how many shards of broken glass this anime version of TMNT shoved up us old fans' assholes. BUT DAMMIT I NEED TO RANT!!!
- Is it a fricking law in Japan that any action adventure ensemble superheroes MUST power-up like Super Saiyans, or have their own colour-coded animal mechas that can assemble themselves into an ultimate boss mecha?!!
- Is there not one person in Japan who knows enough English to NOT come up with names and concepts that are lousier than what comes out of my butt?!! What the flaming dick is Saint Mutation, the Turtle Saint??!!!! Anthology of Superman Legendz??!!!!
- Shredder, Bebop and Rocksteady is NOT, under any circumstances or mind-altering drugs, Team Rocket.
- Shredder is suppose to be bad-ass! Fuck, he's the very epitome of bad-assery! There's a picture of him beside every entry in the Dictionary of Bad-Ass. He's so bad-ass he's Wolverine, Darth Vader, Katsumoto from The Last Samurai AND a durian (arguably the most bad-ass fruit ever invented by psychotic Malaysian geneticists) all-in-one! And they fucking castrated SHREDDER!!!
I was a genuine hardcore fan from way back. All my birthday cakes had to be Ninja Turtle cakes. My schoolbags, pencil cases, dinner-plates, bicycle, T-shirts and even underwear had Ninja Turtles on them! I spent every hour of my kiddy life pretending I'm Donatello, genius turtle who kicks ass with a stick. Now that's what I call childhood - not spent worshipping some retarded sing-along purple dinosaur.
Damn Japs. They invaded my homeland and my ancestral homeland, murdered our people and raped our women - and now they've come back perpetrate surprise butt-sex on my childhood.
For the record, I'm not into animes, which 90% of my Malaysian peers wank to and which my otaku sister is adamantly addicted to no matter how many times her insanely cool brother attempts to brainwash her. And I don't read mangas either, and I'll murder the next person who tries to tell me that they are works of art. I'm a Batman graphic novels fan. Batman: The Long Halloween is a good place to start if you're not familiar with the series - it's gritty and haunting with none of that campy shit you see in the animated series (and of course in manga and anime, 90% of which are made out of stuff ejaculated by rainbow-coloured campy fairies). Think Batman Begins, but with ten times the bad-ass.
End of rant. Back to the books I go.
k0k s3n w4i