Wednesday, December 26, 2007

My Christmas Just Desserts

"God rest ye, little children;
Let nothing you affright,
For Jesus Christ, your Saviour,
Was born this happy night;
Along the hills of Galilee
The white flocks sleeping lay,
When Christ, the Child of Nazareth,
Was born on Christmas Day."

A Christmas Carol by Dinah Maria Mulock Craik

High ceilings say "We have space to waste - cos' we are posh."

This post is a little bit dated seeing that Christmas was... a couple of days ago. I can't help that, lots of stuff has got my teats pinched firmly in their fingers and thumbs these days. Life has been demanding a lot out of me, and I'm trying my best to keep up. What I wouldn't give now to sit idly by the road looking half-interestedly at people scurrying forward with their own little ratty lives? I'd probably do just that if people would just stop kicking dust in my face.

Oh yeah, as I was saying, I went for the Valley View Hotel Annual Christmas Lunch Buffet.

Right, that about summed up my Christmas Day celebration. I did say that this post is going to be short didn't I? I didn't? Whoop Dee Doo.

"Deck the halls with big fat turkeys, tra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la..."

I thought it was a pretty respectable spread for Rs 500. Every kind of meat is up for gobble - mutton, chicken, fish, lamb, even beef! And if you've been in India as long as I have, you'd know just how hard it is to get a side of steak around these parts. It's not like cows are scarce or anything. They strut about on their hoity-toity hooves all over the place like they are Big Fucking Macs - and cars, buses and trucks would stop in reverence and respect when they cross roads (while I get honked to heck). Damn, it feels good to gloat over them when they are little gravy-covered cubes sitting forlornly on my plate. Who's a big horny animal now, Buttercup?! Mwahahahaha!

And there was turkey too! With good ol' cranberry sauce! How thoughtful!

Reminds me of scene in a Christmas skit where a kid ask his Dad why people eat turkey for Christmas.

"It's Jesus' favourite food, Timmy."

An army of chefs on duty.

According to Shaki, who was the one that recommended this event to me - the grub list is lousier compared to one in the year before. His complaint was mainly because there were a lot more local delicacies than the more Christmassy sort of nosh. So long as I got my turkey (and dead cow-flesh), I'm plenty happy. And Phoebs was perfectly satisfied eating almost nothing else but her Malabar prawn curry.

My ├╝ber cute lunch buddy.

That bit of paper there was what we played Lingo on. We figured we needed to kill time in between gorging ourselves silly - so we don't have prolonged periods of quiescent reflection on the sin of gluttony and the evils of indigestion (we must not falter in a buffet!). I initially thought of bringing a chess set but seeing that the last time I played that infernal game was 10 years ago, I thought better of it. And Chinese chess (which I'm heckuva lot better at - which isn't saying very much) is not exactly freely available in the heartland of India, y'know.

I have never lost at Lingo before, and Phoebs was probably the second closest person ever to have almost pawned me. Almost - because I totally crushed her with NAIAD.

Ornamental edibles.

Like every self-respecting swanky shindig, they must have some sort of table showpieces for over-zealous diners to gawk at while they are regretting that last slice of plum pudding they downed. They usually use ice sculptures for that. Big ice animals, Greek gods and corporate logos slowing diminishing into an indistinguishable lump is apparently considered pretty classy amongst the patrician circles. Us plebs just care for the stuff we can fit into our mouths.

But the table ornaments that the Valley View people displayed were... kind of quirky,

"Aaargh! My Face! You ate my face!!!"

Maybe I just haven't attended enough buffets, but I've never seen watermelons used this way before. It must be incredibly cost efficient. Eye candy by day. Dessert by night. And from the looks of melon-noggin up there, I'd say some people just couldn't wait for night.

Bread Gator OMG.

I simply couldn't imagine how the birth of Jesus is connected to pastry alligators but if you're into symbolism...

The Ichthys - or more commonly known as the Jesus Fish or (my personal favourite) the Holy Mackerel - was used by early Christians to represent our divine birthday Boy, for whom this joyeux holiday have been dedicated to. With that said, that big spiky baker's nightmare is sacrilege! I mean, having a croc chomping on a fish - the utter cheek! Time to launch a full-scale crusade on them Valley View Hotel infidels and their false alligator deity! Banzai!

My David Cake.

The best part of this year's Christmas day was, of course, Phoebs' Christmas present to me - a whole massive chocolate cake which she baked for me from scratch! What made it so much more sweeter was that she never baked anything in her life before. Considering her inexperience, it still turned out pretty darn swell! Guess what I had for lunch these past two days :D

Thanks, Phoebs.

Chockful of choc,
k0k s3n w4i


bevE said...

ahahahhahahhahah the cake is so cute xDD lemony looks so cute too T_T

you are so mean! u said it didnt matter at all that when I made those cookies it was the first time i ever made them! >_> -_- is u trying to say that if someone else baked something for u it would be less special coz he/she has had baking experience?!

i want my cookie back -_-

bevE said...

see lemony i TOLD you it was good T^T u refuse to believe me - or maybe u denying to be humble :D toldja the cake was good and looked cute T^T even you said the star thingy was cute

michellesy, who can't bear to look at another sausage in the face said...

LOL - dear James, who else but you would have two very attractive females duelling over the significance of their baked goods to you?

Cookies vs Cake.
Ah, the eternal burning question =D

Ergo, I am simply going to move on to the portion of your blog describing the Lucullan feast that was your Christmas repast =P

YUM. Like major YUM. If a bit odd in spots - like the Jesus fish being devoured by Mr Snapping Jaws. And Mr Stunned Melon Face with one cheek gouged out LOL!

Good that you had a great time with even better company.

I spent my Christmas Day doing it the true-blue Australian way - dodging fat splatters and splotches of bird excrement while forking sausages on an open-air barbecue wtf XD

pinksterz said...

what's NAIAD?

Zzzyun said...

wow she's so nice to bake a cake for u!

hhhmmmmmm~ :P

lemon said...

i sed d star thingy ws cute. bt my cake 'sploded in case u din notice T_T plus i din tink it tasted very gd. so amateur-ish. i bet ur cookies taste so much better T^T i bake cake coz SENWAI buys me dinner ^_^" ehhe.

bevE said...

ohhh lemony let her hair down!!! the guy behind lemony looks like a ghost -.-" ?!

po conducts favoritsm T^T well i think the 'splosion looks cute =.= xD my cookie was too sweet and a little crispy T^T and michsy is wrong T_T im the unattractive one

oh well -_- *has accepted long time ago that im somewhere in the lowest rankings of everything* being first was never for me :D

lemon said...

i jz realized d guy behind does look like a ghost xD hehe. u can't hv my inferiority complex T^T i won't let u hv it *has in inferiority complex tug o' war wif beve* xD

Crux said...

I'd take the bread-gator's head and clamp its jaws over the watermelon head. Now that would be a picture worth taking.

Btw, Beve's a fairly frequent visitor, isn't she? *gives a knowing look*

k0k s3n w4i said...

I said I was touched about the cookies too T_T
Anyhow, I didn't get to eat those cookies you baked for me anyway. You ate them =d
So I can't give them back to you. They are probably shat out by you by now.
But it was still sweet of you xD (the baking part, not the shitting bit)

Guess, I'm just one lucky stiff, eh xD
It was a seriously satisfying spread - for someplace as backwater as Manipal. And BBQ ain't bad either too. I haven't attended one in ages.

A sort of river or spring spirit. You need to bone up on Classic Mythology, young lady.

Hell yeah xD I do so love cake.

It's a good 'splosion hmph.
And it didn't taste amateurish at all!

I was thinking precisely the same thing, but the waiters were eyeing me, so...
Beve's not a freq visitor. She's more of a constant one actually...