Tuesday, March 27, 2007

I, Stupid

"Only a fool lets his heart overrule his brain."

Anne O. Nimus

I touched down in Malacca yesterday (or rather, this morning) at about 1 am. First, I'd have to drop Odessa off at her house - she had hitched a ride from KL after attending her own meet there. As I pulled into her driveway, a woman in her late thirties or forties walked in after us.

Odessa got the fright of her life when that woman tapped the window on her side (we did not notice till that moment). The woman then proceeded at rapid-fire in Mandarin about a sob story of how her husband had locked her out of their home. We gestured for her to leave but she wouldn't listen. She even told us that she recently had an operation done on one of her breast ("wo de nai kai tao") and that she's not in good health, that her husband has two other wives and about how dangerous it was for a woman her age to walk around at that time.

The point is, she needed me to drive her to her sister's or brother's house somewhere in Klebang (!). That's a good 15 minutes drive at the very least. That woman also asked Odessa's permission to stay in her house for the night if it was not convenient for me to give her a lift (you should have seen the face Odessa pulled when that woman made the suggestion).

From the look of her, she definitely did not seem to be in much ill-health (she was in fact rather tough looking and wore her hair military short). Also, she looked weirdly calm for a woman who had a polygamous husband who locked her outside their house at 1 am in the morning. Call me crazy, but I had my suspicions.

Odessa hatched a crafty plan; she told the woman that I'd drive her, but she (the woman) should first get out of her driveway so I can back my car out. The idea was that I should drive off straight home leaving that woman there as soon as Odessa got her front gate locked up.

Luckily, that woman agreed and everything went according to plan. Just as I was about to zoom off leaving the woman behind to bite my dust, I had a sudden moral attack; "What if everything that woman said was true?" In spite of the fact that all clues pointed otherwise, I gestured for the woman to get into the car.

That's probably the un-smartest thing I've done in a long, long time.

The drive to her brother's/sister's/don't-know-who's house in Klebang was definitely the scariest car-ride I've ever been on. I never took my eyes off her for a single second, in case she should whip out a knife and put it to my throat. I had one hand ready to poke her eyes out if she tries anything sudden. Halfway through the journey, I began to entertain thoughts that she might not even be human at all. You never can know.

Somewhere along the road in Tengkera, she put her right hand onto (not into) her left pocket. I immediately barked at her in my very crappy Mandarin to keep both hands on her laps. I insisted on having a clear view of them (the hands, not the laps!) at all times. Thankfully, she obeyed.

As we're driving on the seaside road of Klebang, I asked her where exactly this relative's house is located. She said that it's already quite near and that I only need to make a right turn somewhere in front. Understand that Klebang is a really quiet, dark, deserted place at 1.15 am in the morning - and the housing areas in Klebang is even quieter, darker and more deserted than the main road. I pointedly told her I'm not going to drive into any small roads and that she must walk in herself. I have been worried the whole journey that she'd ask me to stop at a location where she had accomplices hiding, ready to rob, carjack and murder me. I've grown pretty paranoid after the mugging incident more than two years ago in SS15, Subang Jaya.

She begged me to drive her in, telling me that she'll ask her brother/sister/somebody to pay me RM 20 if I do so. I refused firmly. Failing that, she told me to pull over in front of a dilapidated grocery store that stood by the main road that supposedly belonged to an aunt of hers - and I did so, thinking that she couldn't have cronies hiding everywhere in Klebang. She got off and I immediately sped off without even looking back (that's in case she's a spook or spirit of some kind).

I was lucky that nothing untoward happened to me but I've no doubt that what I did was insanely dangerous and extremely stupid. I didn't tell my parents about this because I know that I'll get the scolding of my life if I did. I was putting the car and my life at risk helping to drive a stranger miles out of town when all she had to offer was a fake-sounding hard-luck story I didn't even believe in the first place. I'm sure grifters and con-artists would die to meet me - I'd probably be the easiest mark they would ever swindle.

My only comfort is some words spoken by Betty Cooper (that blonde in one of those Archie's comic books) I've read years ago;

"I'd rather be cheated than having to miss out on helping someone genuinely down on his (or her) luck."

The new eye of k0k bl0k.

In other news, my Mom and Dad just bought me a digital camera from Panasonic two days ago - in spite of my insisting that he shouldn't. I won't pretend that I'm glad he ignored my protests.

k0k s3n w4i


lingghezhi said...

the pic at the end was flipped left to right?

Zzzyun said...

omg... that IS dangerous with a capital D!!

i understand what u said abt helping ppl. but sometimes what u get in return (so to speak) isnt worth it after all... aikz.

call me selfish or what, but i'd rather be safe.. seeing that im a girl and the sky high crime rate nowadays. sigh.

k0k s3n w4i said...


actually, the pic looked like that was because I DIDN'T flip it. Think timer and mirror ;)


You got the right idea there. But I'm a big, strapping lad of 20 - and she's just a rather old woman.

I won't call you selfish. You got the right idea there.

meifong said...

omg!!! i wouldn't do that at all!!!seriously shit! that's far too dangerous wey!!! should have just suggested her to take a cab & leave her there.. omg. i wonder what would happen if i was you.. couldn't imagine.. might just faint on the spot

k0k s3n w4i said...


The problem is, there's no cab to be found at all at that time in quiet, ol' Malacca. I did think about that, but seen none on the road.

She was in a really crappy situation(if everything she said was true). I didn't have the heart to leave her.

fuolornis said...

holy crap sen wai. you has just fallen for into a trap. I had read before that this kind of ppl uses this kind of trick to gain sympathy. All sort of crap; aiyah no money to buy milk, ada banyak anak, susu sudah habis, my relative forgot to pick me up.

Js a few days ago when my parents went to do some marketing in pudu market, an old women approached my father asking for help. She ask my father to buy her some milk products. My father, being suspicious and always carefull js brushed her off.

But honestly, ur one damn luck guy to survive this! Tell u what, nxt time dun be so kind.

Kindness in m'sia comes with a price...

meifong said...

gah. but imagine in india, there are much more worst people than her who doesn't even haf relatives/own a house. what i think is that what we can do is very limited. anywayz, u are very lucky that she doesn't do anything to you. 15 minutes away means like from taylors to midvalley? that's hell lots of time for her to do anything!
takkan no cab right? got money can dee... cab usually charge extra after midnight

k0k s3n w4i said...


I was perfectly aware of the various grifters out there (I, after all, live in India myself).

I was confident of overpowering her should she try anything, and I took the precaution of not driving into narrow lanes where I can't maneuver my car to escape in case I was ambushed (and stopping at a location of my choosing, far enough from where she wanted me to)

But I'll agree, it's still bloody stupid to do what I did.


She'd have her eyes poked out if she did. I was completely ready to murderize some puny old lady.

You definitely have not been about in Malacca after midnight. Mat Rempit got a lot la... but cabbies nil. Part of why I even agreed to do the dumb thing in the first place.

I'm not a trusting person (Yun even called me a cynic once). It's just that I follow my heart more than my brain. Bad habit, I know.

michelleg said...

haha.. that camera pic is pure genius. why din i think of that earlier.

ur rite about mat rempits after midnite in malacca. crazy ass ppl. i was in a car n we nearly banged into one of them (eng kiat was driving). they just swerved into our lane!! stewpid!!

klebang is a deserted place at night. stayed there b4. but there are many rich people living there.

k0k s3n w4i said...

I know. You better show me where to get Klebang's famous roti john tonight wei. Been dying to have some.

After SPM, me, khim hai and some other buds went to watch a rempit race at Cheng. too bad the cops came and we had to leave in a hurry.