Thursday, December 30, 2010

Phoebe, Lover of Animals

"Molly Molly Makeout
Any time, any guy oh oh
Just watch your back
You won't know what to do
Molly might make out with you"

Molly Makeout (2009) by The Friday Night Boys

Once upon a time, there's a girl called Phoebe,
And she loooves all creatures, big or bitty.
One day, she decided to go on a looong nature saunter,
To touch every animal she would perchance encounter.

She played with a pussy cat,
And gave its dainty little head a pat.

I know that "petting the kitty" is a euphemistic phrase for something, but I can't seem to remember what it is now.

Next, she diddled a doggy, posh and poised,
"Oh, what a beautiful bitch," she voiced.

Or possibly feeling for the carotid pulse, I don't know.

Then, she preyed upon a pillbug just for kicks,
With glee, she buggered bugged it with a prick stick.


After that, she came across an untended kid,
And merrily molested the minor, she did.

She did technically grope a kid's backside. So, it's bestiality AND paedophilia, at the same time.

She tried to despoil a simian child but she was resisted,
"Stay away from ouah baybeh!" the monkey parents insisted.

"Snuggle close, honey. Mommy and Daddy will protect you from the big human pervert."

"A puppy!" cried Phoebe, who finally found her favourite item,
"You, tenderest of morsels, shall be my latest victim!"

That look on Phoebe's face says it all.

But the brave little pup would stand for none of it,
And right into her digits it righteously bit.

*om nom nom* "AAAHHH!!! LEGGO LEGGO!!!"

And Phoebe cried wee wee wee,
All the way back to Ooty.

The end.

Tune in next time for my version of the Three Billy Goats Gruff.

The Gruffs! They like it ruff!

Minstrel in a pinch,
k0k s3n w4i


Phoebs said...

the kitty felt good :D but puppies are still the best!

Dr.Vishaal Bhat said...

Thoroughly enjoyed Phoebes adventures in Udhagamandalm! Part deux?

Phoebs said...

stop makin fun of my socks T^T they match my hair clip

Liz ^^, said...

This is awesome !!! Ahaha I always admire people who can write good rhyme !!! :DDDDD

goingkookies said...

haha.. funny... Your Phoebs a real sport for letting you post her pics!! Joker.

Happy 2011 to you both!! =)

Schadenfreude said...

I experienced a serious attack of the giggles reading this entry. Thanks for the merriment, and cheers to the both of you! :D

nicoletta said...

that was a wicked non-kiddie friendly rhyme! And are those Google ads actually advertising websites on religion and discourse within religion in your blog?? Irony.

février said...

i thought that was a pretty easy and basic rhyme actually. wasn't good.

yuhhui said...

Still missing Ooty? Hehhee..
nice poem there..
btw, Happy new year!! have a great one yea!!

Teabie said...

wot a good read (and laugh!!). phoebe is sooo good-natured. ppl who like animals are kind... yes? yes!? lol. i mean, not with a sadistic smile way. ahem.

i will never look at pillbugs in the same light again. thanks. =P

May Lee said...

i didn't know pillbugs and gruffs liked it rough. :O

k0k s3n w4i said...

Phoebs: the fashion police ought to have busted you for those socks. and for your fugly jammies =d

Dr.Vishaal Bhat: i think there's one more ooty post left before i move the narrative to kodaikanal :)

Liz ^^,: it wasn't that hard rhyming two lines at a time.

goingkookies: it's all in the job description of being my girlfriend - "must have a sense of humour."

Schadenfreude: you're most welcome. the least a blogger can do is to entertain, no?

nicoletta: that's how the google bots work, i think. they scan for buzzwords and serve ads according to them. it's like that in almost every atheist's blog - we're the target audience after all :)

beve: well, it's suppose to mimic a kiddie story rhyme -.-

yuhhui: not so much missing ooty as missing our time together there. and happy new year to you too!

Teabie: it's actually a pill milipede, i think, but that doesn't have the same ring to it. phoebs is something special. i fall in love with her all over again every time i write about her :)

May Lee: the more you know... ;)