"Is it just me or is everyone
Hiding out between the lights?
Where will we be when we come undone?
Just a simple meeting of the minds
Singing we’ll fight fire with fire
Fire with fire
Fire with fire"Fire With Fire (2010) by Scissor Sisters
The above has no relation to this post. It's just my latest earworm.
I spend a great deal of my time alone, and my adeptness at self-entertainment certainly makes it an easy lifestyle to perpetuate. I am not so arrogant as to think I can carry out a friendless existence, but I do believe my demand for companionship is lower than most. Phoebe is pretty much all I need - a lover, a confidant and family all in one person. A man is not an island, but he can damn well be a peninsula.
I find myself eating alone on my own ninety-nine out of a hundred times. I also watch a monster share of films at the cinema solo. I do this because I find it a hassle to call my friends up and make dates. I have little patience with the liberties they take with punctuality. I dislike having to sync my time and activities to other people's. I hate having to democratically decide where the group should eat or what movie the group should catch. These are the excuses, justifications and apologies I make for being such a loner. They are not the reasons.
I discovered the reason not one week ago, outside a McDonald's. I had a craving for a cone of McD's soft serve and I had plans to read a little there. I ran into a colleague and friend making an order at at the drive-through window and he asked - shouting from thirty feet away - if I was going to eat there. I assumed that he wanted to join me. Maybe that's not the case. Maybe I misread the situation but that's not important. What's important was what I thought his intentions were and more importantly, how I responded.
"No," I lied, "I'm only picking up a takeaway."
Sometimes, I'm alone. Sometimes, the reason is because I want to be. Sometimes can be a lot of the time.
I am not antisocial, really.
On Friday, I had dinner at the new San Francisco Steakhouse which opened at the Malacca Club building in Melaka Raya. I was accompanied by Michael Chabon's The Yiddish Policemen's Union and a recording of a podcast review of The Social Network (one of the best motion pictures of the year, if you ask me). Phoebe was a speed-dial away. If necessary, I could even retreat into my thoughts for hours on end because I am, in my personal opinion, such an interesting fellow.
My ego is so massive that it has its own gravitational field and Earth is in orbit around it. See what I did there? Wordplay! I think the world revolves around me, geddit? Why are you groaning?
The place was nice. I like the high ceiling and I do so approve of the waitresses' miniskirts. I had a soup and a lamb main. Both were serviceable, if a bit underwhelming. For how much I coughed up, I expected rainbows, supernovae and gay unicorns to explode on my plebeian palate.
Throughout my meal, a preschooler from the neighboring table repeatedly accosted my person. She would leap off her chair, run to my side and wave a piece of chip in my face before scurrying back to her seat, giggling maniacally. I could not understand what drew the brat's attention on me. Was it my gravitational field (ha!)? Or was it because kids, like most predators, prefer to take on prey animals which are separated from its herd? The waving of potato seemed to be some sort of combat challenge to me. Inigo Montoya, is that you? Nope, her Dad's right there, alive and watching a footie game on telly. Restrain your daughter, male parent.
I don't like kids. The feeling, unfortunately, is rarely mutual. I tried projecting my disdain of children through my eyes at her but that only drove her into hysterics. I also couldn't punt her out of my sight because her sire might take umbrage at such an energetic gesture of discouragement applied to his spawn. And would you believe they have laws against kicking children, even when they menace you with a tuberous shiv?
Anyway, here's a picture of the toothy miss,
Look at her! Take inventory of the murder eyes and her impressive set of gnashers. Bet you'll never meet another blackguard so unhinged and bloodthirsty in your life.
P.S. I am currently in the middle of a Paediatric posting. Save me.
k0k s3n w4i