High Horses Are Meat Too, Vegans, So Stop Riding Them to Death

"In the strict scientific sense we all feed on death - even vegetarians."

Mr. Spock

For the longest time, more out of pure laziness than any other excuse, I have taken the word of a vegan acquaintance of mine and assumed that veganism is very much better for the environment than eating meat. At first blush, the maths do check out - farm animals belong to a higher trophic level & them smelly cows do fart a lot - so logically, meat production necessitates a higher burden on our resources than, for example, the humble workaday cabbage. The full vegan pitch is far longer and far more irritating, but that's really not my job to present it - or at least, it isn't anymore. While I lack the resolve to commit myself (and my family) to a vegan diet, I do try however to be mindful of the amount of delicious flesh I consume everyday and visit a local vegetarian joint semi-regularly. Whenever the topic of veganism and sustainability comes up, I just repeat what I learned from that vegan acquaintance of mine and shared much of the same references he shared with me. I recognise that I am holding out because bacon is fucking delicious of selfish reasons but I am all for more people embracing veganism if they are willing to take the plunge - though admittedly, I cannot reliably quantify the carbon footprint that will result from the combined annoyance experienced by us omnivores with the population surge of even more vegan prats, so there's that caveat.

Anyway, I have no cause to question what my herbivorous friend had told me (for years) until that same friend confronted me again regarding my choice to stick with a omnivore's diet this week on Twitter. Now, I am aware of the backfire effect - people confronted about their beliefs tended to dig in and double down rather than change their minds - and I am sure that that is precisely what occurred to me as that vegan friend prattled on and on about what a irresponsible jerk I am for not giving up meat.

However, in the process of backfiring and digging my trenches, I was forced to unearth and re-examine a lot of "facts" I had taken for granted and parroted in the veganism slash sustainability debates and in the process, I learned, for one thing, more about how alarmist vegans are great at cherry-picking stats and numbers to inflate their own contribution and sense of importance to the environment. I told that vegan friend that what he was doing to me was probably futile, given that I already agree with him on his talking points but because he couldn't shut up about how shitty a person I am for enjoying a chicken dinner, I went the extra mile to vindicate my own position. The sum result of all his high-horsing is that I now hold a less favourable position on veganism. Nice job breaking it, vegan.

The reason supplied to me for my tongue lashing from the vegan was because I tweeted a photo of my dinner. In the photo was a cut of chicken katsu I fried up myself. The vegan said,

And it triggered an urge in me to punch him in the teeth. True story.

"Trigger" is a word that is appropriated by the internet from psychiatric language and in my line of work, we usually use it to refer to "trauma triggers" and it is a serious thing. Judging from the vegan's words, I sincerely doubt that he was "triggered" in the Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder sense of the word (just as I sincerely doubt he was actually diagnosed with PTSD). Furthermore, I pointed out to him that he is completely surrounded by "triggers" everywhere he goes considering that more than 95% of people eat meat and images of meat permeates the world. He should be a nervous wreck by now if he was genuinely triggered. Way to go in cheapening the experience of shell-shocked veterans and victims of sexual assault.

Speaking of "triggers" (in the annoying internet jackasses sense of the word), I went out of my way and ate a huge slab of sirloin steak last night after having abstained from beef for months - as a reward to myself for having suffered a bout of vegan evangelism. In fact, the last time I ate an honest-to-goodness beef steak was literally years ago. I am not even joking here: all that talk about the unsustainability of beef actually "triggered" me to crave for a medium-rare side of cow which I have been missing.

Here is what I had last night,

"Vegetarian: A person who eats only side dishes." ~Gerald Lieberman

But let's get to the meat of this post, which are mostly things which environmento-vegan rangers tend to gloss over or omit in their guilt-tripping sales pitch, in no particular order:




Fertilisers.

One of the basic things we can all agree on is that when applied intelligently, mixed farming (crops plus livestock) is the more sustainable model in food production. One very obvious advantage is that manure from the animals can be used to fertilise the plants but according to this report by the USDA,  only a measly 5% fraction of total planted acreage even received manure and it's not because manure is in short supply. In fact, the US is drowning in so much shit that it threatens to be an environmental disaster if handled improperly. Manure is cheaper than commercial synthetic fertiliser, so what gives?

The reason why all that poo doesn't get spread around more is because 52% of harvested crop acres in the US are on farms with no livestock production at all and the cost of transporting that much crap is proving to be a deterrent for most farmers. So, they settled on using synthetic fertilisers. And if vegans have their way, we would end up fertilising 100% of our crops with synthetic fertiliser since they want to to put an end to animal farming.

And what is synthetic fertiliser made out of? Non-renewable resources like natural gas. That's sustainable alright.



The Emission Impact of Farm Animals Versus Plants.

Cows and sheep are flatulent and they fart more than soy and corn. Agreed. But what are the numbers really like, and how do we come to a more nuanced understanding of the issue without resorting to ultimata of utter meat rejection?

Here is a chart on production emissions (including emissions from processing, transportation, et cetera after the food leave the farms) from the EWG,

Okay, what are people doing to potatoes after they leave the farm?

Lamb meat is the greatest offender here, with the production of 39.2 kilos of CO₂ per kilo of consumed food with beef winning silver in the agricultural fart Olympics at 27 kilos. The reason why lamb generate so much emissions per kilo is because they produce less edible meat relative to the sheep's live weight - so, aside from putting a stop to lamb chops we should really boycott wool clothing as well. Also, lamb makes up less than 1% of the meat consumed by Americans anyway so giving up sheep-meat isn't going to matter much at all.

You'll notice immediately that after ruminants (hoofed animals with 4-chambered fart-generating stomachs), the emission levels dropped precipitously when we look at other sources of meat protein like pork and chicken. And just eyeballing the chart, you can tell that pork produces about 6 times and chicken about 3 times as much emissions as most plant-based food. Which is still significant, if you ignore the fact that meat is faaar more calorie-dense compared to vegetables and grains. I mean, if you stop eating beef, you can’t replace a kilogram of it (which has 2,280 calories) with a kilogram of broccoli (340 calories). You have to replace it with 6.7 kilograms of broccoli to make up the caloric difference.

So, a fairer and more science-literate comparison would be to look at emissions per 1,000 calories,

Perspective, bitches.

You'll notice right away that tomatoes and broccoli farming actually produce MORE emissions than farmed salmon, pork, chicken, canned tuna, milk, yogurt, cheese and eggs. But do you hear vegans bothering people who eat brocolli and tomatoes? No. Why? Studies showed that it's because they are oversized, wet, flopping hypocrites.

Of course, vegans will moan "What about methane?!" Yes, methane is way worse than CO₂ when it comes to comparative impact on climate change.

I prefer chicken anyway.

You can see in the above graph that chicken produces nil enteric methane emissions. That's because physiologically, birds don't need to fart. While I can sort of see the point for abstaining or decreasing beef intake, I don't see any compelling environmental reason to give up poultry at all.

There is a reason why scaremongering documentaries like Cowspiracy place a lot of focus on beef production (aside from embarrassingly bad puns) because ruminant farming is an order of magnitude worse than poultry farming. While it is not outright lying, it is propaganda that downplays the fact that ruminant farming is exceptional in their negative impact on the environment and presenting numbers which look dire on face value, while playing pretendsies that a vegan diet is always better - ignoring the fact that pork and chicken can actually be better choices than some vegetarian alternatives. But of course, he chose to badger me because of my chicken katsu instead of giving his equally insufferable vegan friends friends pain for their marinara gluten-free pasta dinners.

Will my vegan friend give up tomatoes and broccoli and start eating chicken and pork again when faced with this evidence? I don't think so.



Vegan Culture's Obsession with Organic Farming, Fad Superfoods and Fighting GMO's.

There is no hard way to determine just how many vegetarians and vegans buy into organic farming - and how many of them unfairly malign the use of genetically modified organisms (GMO), but one can't help but notice a huge overlap in ideology there if one frequents blogs or pages which advocate plant-centric diets. It makes sense since they generally approach orthorexic levels of finickiness and scrutiny when it comes to what they stuff their faces with.

Organic farming produces about 20 to 30% less yield compared to conventional farming practices. That means that for every 100 kilos of zucchinis we produce through conventional farming practices, we can only produce 70 to 80 organic zucchinis.

Also, GMO use had also lead to higher yields and more sustainable farming practices like decreased reliance on pesticides and yes, prevented 203 million tonnes of CO2 from being released into the atmosphere from less soil disturbance as well. If anything, I think genetically modifying our food organisms will be how we eventually solve the sustainability problem.

And every new "superfood" that these eat-right clowns buy into (quinoa, chia seeds,
açaí berries, goji berries, et cetera) will in turn create demand for these products and thus, cause the opening of more farms to accommodate these specialised crops. Yes, non-vegans do get sucked into these fads as well but these are all technically plant-based food.

Now, my vegan friend may not necessarily buy into organic farming practices (and all its associated woo) and fad diets nor is he against GMO, as far as I know. I bring this up because this is one of those unquantified elements that put into perspective how the vegan movement isn't necessarily as great as they say it is when it comes to sustainability. Individual vegans may even be worse than an average omnivore like me who is pro-GMO, anti-organic farming and gets most of my meat protein from chicken - particularly if that vegan eats a lot of tomatoes and broccoli.



Vegan Evangelism Isn't Going to Work.

I have no doubt that one day in the distant radiant future, humanity will no longer butcher any animal for their food (I am wagering on flawless, sustainable lab grown meat) but until that day arrives, we will be eating our hoofed and beaked friends for many decades or even centuries to come. So, on a pragmatic and practical level, I asked him how successful he is as spreading the Good News about veganism.

His reply was this:

In his mind, rousing inspirational music must be playing while a cape billows dramatically behind him.

That tells me that I am dealing with someone who puts ideology above actually focusing on doing what is actually effective.

After much dodging, he later said he had only convinced just 3 or 4 people to adopt veganism in all the years of his "activism". I have no way of knowing if the converts did so due to his highly annoying proselytising or if those 3 or 4 individuals were going to go vegan anyway, but I will generously give him the benefit of the doubt. Still, at a rate of about one conversion a year, he would still have done almost no good at the end of his life, however prolonged he imagine it would be thanks to his vegan diet. He would have annoyed a great many people though.

We also know that throwing evidence in the face of people largely doesn't work, as this study on the effectiveness of vaccination information campaigns suggests (that article even mentions the "backfire effect"). I mean, I already buy the party line that veganism is more sustainable and environmentally-friendly and I still refuse to adopt vegetarianism because it meant that I would have to sacrifice my quality of life. This is a losing battle. I ought to know - I counsel alcoholics and nicotine addicts everyday in my day job. I am technically at the "precontemplation" stage in regards to giving up meat and if I already agree that meat-eating is less sustainable than eating greens, then the right thing to do is to step back and be available if I actually want more information - but instead, this vegan friend's persistence had actually caused me to be less convinced than before.

Likewise, burning fossil fuels is bad but hardly anyone is willing to give up the convenience of modern transportations or electric lights. The solution to that is creating more fuel-efficient cars (or developing equally good electric cars), inventing more energy-saving light bulbs, investing in nuclear power or resorting to renewable energy sources like solar or wind. Doing the equivalent of screaming on street corners with a sandwich board pronouncing the doom of the world if we do not "repent" by stopping the use of cars or the consumption of meat is actually counter-productive (especially if it comes with insults implying I am irresponsible or evil or smelly) and it belies a fundamental misunderstanding of human nature: most of us will do what is easy rather than what is necessary. So real, practical solutions would have to come at no cost to our comfort in order for them be popular enough to make a significant difference. Adoption rate is key and king.



Veganism is not the Solution.

There are a million aspects of our lives which we can tweak to reduce our impact on the environment and on climate change but vegans like this Twitter friend of mine who harrassed me are disproportionately focused on their personal demons in their advocacy (meat, in this case).

You know what is far, far worse than eating meat? Having children. You can drive all the Priuses and eat all the kale in the world but that is but a drop in the ocean when you compare that to the carbon footprint of reproduction. I think all these vegans making sustainability arguments should sterilise themselves if they think that us omnivores aren't doing enough for the environment because they too are doing a half-assed job as well. It brings to mind this parable that Mencius told about a soldier who ran 50-paces away from the battlefield calling his fellow who ran 100-paces a coward (五十步笑百步).

In fact, I did say as much. I told that vegan friend to go kill himself if he really cares about the environment so much. To that, he said,

I nearly asked him if it "triggered" him because he attempted or contemplated suicide before,
but I realised that I have stopped caring by this point.

We had been enjoying an omnivorous diet since time immemorial and we never had a problem with animal husbandry until recent times because - get this - meat is not the problem. It is a herring and it is red. The reason why meat farming is unsustainable (and eventually, crops farming as well) is because this is actually the toll that the continuously rising human population is having on this planet.

That's the fucking problem. Fix that.



Conclusion.

I try to minimise my own effect on the environment whenever I can if it does not come at a sacrifice in my quality of life. For example, I reject plastic bags whenever I shop but I'd still accept one if I really need it. I am mindful of the amount of meat I consume, both for environmental and health reasons. After the sialic acid Neu5Gc in red meat was found last year to be implicated in the increased risk of cancer, I have further reduced my already infrequent indulgence in red meat. When I bought home appliances recently for my new house, I tried to get the most energy efficient ones. And I decided to only have one child, and that alone already qualifies me for a higher horse than pretty much every vegan who birthed two kids or more. I make many of these little decisions everyday that counts towards my total impact on our world but to demonise one aspect of my life - my homecooked chicken katsu (which was delicious, by the way) - is incredibly misguided, unhelpful and tone deaf.

I am an atheist and I believe that this is the only life I will ever get to experience. I certainly don't intend to live it without all the reasonable comfort and pleasures I can get out of it. I don't want the trouble of limiting my culinary and epicurean experience, making sure I am getting enough Vitamin B12 through supplementation, or being a perpetual pain of the ass of a guest with "special considerations" at every group meal, party or wedding - all in service of a poorly thought out, mostly masturbatory non-solution to a serious issue.



Thinks vegans are pricks now,
k0k s3n w4i

Sabaidee Luang Prabang: Out Alone in the City

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it sure makes the rest of you lonely."

Charles M. Schulz

After our success with street food in Vang Vieng, we had grown bold. We relaxed our guards and started eating at any roadside stall that draws a crowd. To be honest, I am never particularly careful with what I eat because I reckon that after spending almost 3 years in India, my gastrointestinal tract must have cultivated a fortitude that can rival the digestive capacity of some species of pigs. My lady, on the other hand, have spent most of her adult life in Singapore, a city state that in which garbage is considered an endangered species.

Here's where we had dinner on our first full day in the city of Luang Prabang.

Smörgåsbord.

Cheryl spotted this roadside all-you-can-carry-away-in-one-plate buffet at the mouth of an alleyway leading away from the Handicraft Night Market. At just 10,000 kip (1.25 USD or a little above 4 ringgit) per pop, it was real easy on my wallet.

Cheryl sealing her doom.

Little did she know, she would came to regret this meal as it would make a reappearance later that night through the same orifice it went in. Cheryl, it seemed, had fallen for that commonest of calamities befalling travellers - food poisoning. The illness would go on to incapacitate her for the entirety of the following day, putting a crimp in our plans. Me? My burps tasted a little funny that morning but otherwise, all gears and cylinders were operating in pretty much the same way they always have.

As soon as day broke, I left our guesthouse to hunt for another place as our room was already booked other guests. Thinking that the room rates would be cheaper if I look outside of the central area, I headed out to Manomai Road where we passed many guesthouses on our arrival night. I saw that some street vendors there were hawking a fare familiar to me, so I had some.

Rice noodle sheet cooking on a hot plate.

Breakfast!

The vendor I bought my breakfast from couldn't not speak or understand English and my mastery of the Lao language begins at "sabaidee" and ends at "khawp jai", I did not find out what the Lao call it - but where I'm from, it's known as chee cheong fun. It's a kind of steamed rice noodle roll that's stuffed with minced meat or shrimp and is usually eaten with soy sauce. The one I had here was served with some sweet, fragrant oil with an overkill of fried onion garnish. It tasted amazing.

No matter where you are from, the desire to put silly clothes on your pets is universal.

I finally found a place called P. P. Guesthouse that was situated right across the road from Wat Manorom which have an almost exclusively Lao clientèle. They also charge about 3 times cheaper than where we've been putting up our legs at in the previous two nights, in spite providing the same amenities (if not the same aesthetics). I immediately paid up for two nights and headed back to my ailing spouse at the Tha Heua Me Guesthouse to see if she was still alive (she was). With a bit of encouragement, I got her out of that her bed into a new bed across town, where she curled up to rest some more.

Not wanting to waste the day, I started exploring the area surrounding our new accommodation. As Wat Manorom was just opposite, I went to see to pay that a visit. While it is a well known local monument, it being situated far outside the the central tourist Disneyland meant that I did not have to pay an admission fee to enter.

The front of Wat Manorom.

I can talk about it being being founded in the 14th century or about how it houses the oldest large Buddha statue in the city, but the most interesting I saw there was this monk leaning on a motorbike, smoking a cigarette.

So much for relinquishing earthly desires.

Speaking of less than materialistic Buddhist monks, here's one playing with his phone while chilling out in the courtyard of Wat That Luang, a temple near Wat Manorom.

According to some Buddhist sects, playing Centipede is mindless enough to be considered meditation.

Situated behind our new guesthouse is the UXO Lao Information Centre.  

Sure screams welcome to me.

UXO stands for Unexploded Ordnance, and UXO Lao is the national bomb clearance operator that works to clean bomb contaminated lands to free them for agriculture, development and community purposes (schools, hospitals, temples, water supply, and so on). They also conduct educational risk-reduction programmes for the affected communities.

A stark information board right outside the Visitors Centre reveals some sobering statistics. More than 40 years after the Laotian Civil War, there are still casualties that resulted directly from the bombs that was dropped by the US and Laotian Air Forces. In the past 10 years, 29 people were killed while 36 were injured from live UXO's and chances are, the actual numbers may be higher as there are a lot of remote communities living far away from civilisation in this country.

It's mostly bombs inside.

The flipside of those stats is how much good UXO Laos is doing for the people as they have cleared more than 29 million square metres of land, benefiting an estimate of half a million civilians since 1998. The exhibits at UXO Lao Visitors Centre were simple, blunt and filled with unconcealed resentment towards the US imperialists who turned their foreseeable future into a massive nationwide game of Minesweeper. I think it makes for a great double feature with the COPE Visitor Centre in Vientiane.

Adjacent to the UXO Lao Information Centre is a small park that featured a statue of the Red Prince, giving applause to shrubbery. The park was pretty devoid of people.

"Here, have an invisible burger."

The Red Prince is the nickname given to Prince Souphanouvong, the son of the last vice-king of Laos. He was also the figurehead leader of the Lao People's Revolutionary Party and later, when they seized power, was made the first President of Laos.

In another part of town right beside Pothisalath Avenue, you'll find a bust of the first Prime Minister of Laos who then succeeded Souphanouvong as the second President of the communist republic.

Monument du President Kaysone Phom Vihane.

Walking along the Mekong in a southwesterly direction on Pothisalath Avenue, you'll find a side road to your right leading to some place with the unlikely name of Ock Pop Tock. It's right after you pass the Phosy Market.

Welcome to Ock Pop Tock.

To be precise, it is the Living Crafts Centre belonging to the textile and weaving enterprise based in Luang Prabang called Ock Pop Tock and here in its beautifully manicured grounds, they have their weaving and dyeing studio and craft school where if you like (and have a lot of loose change), you can learn how to make amateurishly created versions of the scarves and shawls you can buy at the Handicraft Night Market by paying less. If you have serious cash on hand, you can even stay in one of their four guest rooms, each decorated according to the aesthetics belonging to different indigenous tribes in Laos - the Katu, Hmong, Tai and Hill tribe people.

There are suppose to be free tours there but in my first visit there and my second visit the next day with Cheryl, we were told different excuses as to why the tours didn't happen according to schedule. I suspect it was because we didn't look like we were going to buy any of their overpriced merchandise.

Some of the in-house artisans, working a loom.

A massive carpenter bee (Xylocopa sp.) which was stuck in the indigo dye exhibit above the cafe at Ock Pop Tock that was almost two inches in length.

Dead domesticated silkmoths (Bombyx mori) with raw silk cocoons on display.

A lady walking on a sand bar by the Mekong, as seen from the cafe at Ock Pop Tock.

I went back briefly to our guesthouse after my visit to the Ock Pop Tock Living Crafts Centre to check up on how my lady love was holding up and to bring her lunch. After showering and taking a nap, I headed out again in evening to hunt for dinner food. On my walk, I dropped in on Wat Wisunarat, a temple build in 1513 during the reign of its namesake but it was already closed when I got there. The original was crafted from wood but after it was burnt to cinders by the Black Haw raiders who stormed Luang Prabang in 1887 so they learned their lesson and rebuilt one from stone.

Streamers on bamboo poles at the back of Wat Wisunarat.

One of the most distinctive installations at Wat Wisunarat is the That Pathum which is more popularly known as That Makmo, or the "Watermelon Stupa" for obvious reasons.

That Pathum or That Makmo at Wat Wisunarat.

Fun with Engrish.

And thus concludes my brief day of exploration of the B-list attractions that the city of Luang Prabang has to offer. When we return, you will be reading about the two most unforgettable experiences we had in our last two days there.



RELATED POSTS:
Vive La Vientiane: Part One
Veni, Vidi, Vang Vieng: First Night in Town 
Veni, Vidi, Vang Vieng: Climbing Pha Ngeun
Veni, Vidi, Vang Vieng: The Blue Lagoon at Tham Phu Kam
Veni, Vidi, Vang Vieng: Solo Mountain Biking Trip to Kaeng Nyui Waterfall  
Veni, Vidi, Vang Vieng: Tubing Down the Nam Song
Veni, Vidi, Vang Vieng: Last Day in Town at Pha Poak and Lusi Cave
Sabaidee Luang Prabang: The Night and Morning MarketsSabaidee Luang Prabang: Phou Si Hill, Haw Kham and Wat Xieng Thong



Immune to diarrhoea,
k0k s3n w4i

Sabaidee Luang Prabang: The Night and Morning Markets

"In my travels I found no answers, only wonders."

Marty Rubin

Continuing from the last write-up of my Northern Laos travelogue series, Cheryl and I arrived in the royal city of Luang Prabang on the 10th of February, a little before nine o'clock in the evening. While I love the sense of discovery in walking into yet another strange corner in this awesome world of ours, I also dislike the disorientation that it entails. Being an obvious tourist who can't speak the local language or read the local signs, we were subject to the mercy of the indigenous predators which prey on foreigners, taking advantage of their ignorance and naiveté. Cheryl was doing better than me because she can speak a smattering of Thai, which is similar enough to Lao to be useful in bargaining for stuff.

Unlike in Vientiane and Vang Vieng where I had made advanced bookings for guesthouses, we chose not to do the same for Luang Prabang - favouring instead the advice given in a few travel fora I frequented encouraging us to just walk around town carrying our backpacks until we see something we like. After about an hour of guesthouse operators telling us that they were full or that they were too expensive for me, we finally docked in at Tha Huea Me Guesthouse that faces the Mekong River at Mathatoulat Street. I had to pay a bit more than I wanted to but it was worth every kip, as most of the old city's attractions were located 5 minute's walk away from it,

Our room at Tha Huea Me Guesthouse.

After unloading, we walked across the street to a riveside restaurant and had our first meal in Luang Prabang. We ordered a couple of dishes that Luang Prabang is famous for like orlam (a speciality stew of the region) but the highlight was flash-fried crispy Mekong riverweed (kai paen) which are algae gathered from the bottom of river that was hung up, dried, pounded and pressed into thin sheets with stuff like green onions, galangal, garlic or tomato, and sprinkled with sesame seeds. They tasted like a spicier version of nori. These are typically served with jeow bong, a delicious local sweet and spicy paste made from chillis, galangal, et cetera with rubbery bits of water buffalo skin in them.

The kai paen and jeow bong combo quickly became my new favourite food.

Having spent most of the day riding a bus to get here, we wanted to stretch our legs a little before heading back to sleep so we walked to Rue Sisavangvong which is closed to motorised vehicles from 5 to 10 nightly to make way for the Handicraft Night Market.

Cheryl looking at baby bibs and baby shoes for Darwin, who was back in Penang with his maternal grandparents.

I have read many testimonies from travellers in this region praising the Handicraft Night Market in Luang Prabang as the best shopping experience in Southeast Asia, to the exclusion of far more famous bazaars in Thailand and Vietnam. That's because a shopper is actually allowed to browse at their leisure without being harried and assaulted with pushy offers here. The peddlers here have pride and would not try to force a sale if you ultimately decide not to buy their wares, though I cannot divine how long this will stay the case. The variety and profusion of wares here are also quite impressive as they range from Beerlao T-shirts, metal-ware and jewelry fashioned from salvaged bombshells, woven apparel to paintings, woodcarvings, antiques and local teas.

Cheryl bought herself a pair of rainbow coloured hammer/harem pants, a very comfy type of trousers favoured by female Western travellers which I introduced to her in Vang Vieng (she was wearing one in the picture above), a painting for her sister, some pretty cushion covers for her parents, and a pair of craft baby booties for our baby boy. I bought a 5 inch tall wood sculpture of a woman in a rice paddy hat, just because.

A little girl at the Handicraft Night Market striking a pose when she saw me raise my camera.

Another shot of the Night Market, with the opulent Haw Pha Bang or the Royal Chapel which houses Luang Prabang's most treasured relic (more on that in the next post) standing in the background.

We got up early the next day and had our breakfast at a cheap looking corner shop located by the intersection of Manthatoulat and Kitsalat, literally a stone throw away from our guesthouse. A lot local Lao people were breakfasting there as well so we figured it must be good.

Between us, we had a bowl of noodle soup, a bowl Laotian rice soup (khào piak) and something that the hawker called "fried banana",

Our breakfast.

The "fried bananas" were no bananas at all but is actually the Lao version of the Chinese youtiao which I grew up with. The Lao people call them pah thawng ko. They are basically deep-fried strips of dough that frequently accompanies rice congee and bak kut teh in Malaysia.

Right after that, we decided to just take a stroll through the nearby Ban Pakam fresh market where all manners of raw edibles were on display and for sale.

In Cheryl's hand were 4 large packets of kai paen which I bought and later regretted.

Freshly caught and killed Mekong catfishes with eerily lively eyes for sale.

This is just a brief introductory piece on Luang Prabang and just so you know, there are going to be many more posts in the pipeline about this awesomely quaint city as we spent almost 5 days there, more than anywhere else we spent in Laos. Anyway, after our visit to the morning market, we went and climbed Phou Si Hill which was located right in the middle of the historical district followed immediately by a visit to the Ho Kham (the Royal Palace Museum, former residence of the last monarchs of Laos) and the Haw Pha Bang to see the exalted symbol and palladium of Luang Prabang, from which the city got its name, before finally ending up at Wat Xieng Thong, one of the prettiest, most important monasteries and temples in the country.



RELATED POSTS:
Vive La Vientiane: Part One
Veni, Vidi, Vang Vieng: First Night in Town 
Veni, Vidi, Vang Vieng: Climbing Pha Ngeun
Veni, Vidi, Vang Vieng: The Blue Lagoon at Tham Phu Kam
Veni, Vidi, Vang Vieng: Solo Mountain Biking Trip to Kaeng Nyui Waterfall  
Veni, Vidi, Vang Vieng: Tubing Down the Nam Song
Veni, Vidi, Vang Vieng: Last Day in Town at Pha Poak and Lusi Cave
Sabaidee Luang Prabang: Phou Si Hill, Haw Kham and Wat Xieng Thong
Sabaidee Luang Prabang: Out Alone in the City 



Not usually seen in markets,
k0k s3n w4i

My Return to Santubong

"Gonna goose that goose
Gonna quack that swan
Gonna rubber my duckie all night long
Gonna whack that Mallard
Until its feathers plume
Gonna Huey Dewey Louie all over the room
Scrooge McDuck, gonna give it to you
Dive into your gold until you say
DuckTales, whoo hoo!"

Sex with Ducks (2010) by Garfunkel and Oates

On April 20 last month, I went back to Santubong to see if my stamina have improved since my last ascent because I have been climbing some mountain or other every week since the beginning of this year in preparation for my trek up to the lofty Pinnacles at Mulu National Park on the 12th of May - which, as the more observant would notice, is a matter of history by now and I would bore you with those details in good time.

Anyway, just to quickly summarise my most recent Santubong climb: I entered the mountain using the Bukit Putri trail this time which many have said to be a more pleasant trek and boy, was it ever! The forest is sparser and less oppressive on that trail and it closely skirts one of Santubong's ridges, so there was almost always fresh air. All in all, I passed two groups of hikers on my way up while a Eurasian man overtook me. It took me about 2 hours and 50 minutes to reach the summit, beating my previous time by about an hour (which isn't saying a lot since the Bukit Putri trail is known to be easier). The real difference I noticed was that I didn't feel any aches or soreness in my body after this outing. Following my previous climb, I couldn't walk up a single step of stairs without my thighs screaming like the souls of the damned. That infused me with a not-insubstantial amount of confidence boost, ceasing my regard of my impending Pinnacles climb as a suicide mission.

This time, missing the constant threat of expiring from the exertion, I was able to pay more attention to the bugs and other small creatures that make Santubong their home. A fellow trekker told me that once, he even saw a hornbill in flight hereabouts - which would be such a treat if it happened on any one of my hikes! Also since I made such good time, I could afford to spend about 2 and a half hours loitering on Santubong's summit and even took a restorative nap.

So with that out of the way, here are the pictures I took this time,

A male Common Iora (Aegithina tiphia) right at the beginning of my hike.

A section of the Bukit Putri trail before it joins the common summit trail. There's always a cliff to the right.

Rope ladders on the latter half of the hike. It's higher than it looks in this picture.

A bust of Datuk Merpati, the superhuman founder of Santubong.

The gazebo at the top of Santubong, currently being occupied by some assholes from a silat (local martial arts) school who don't understand the concept of public property. They even collected bottles of their urine inside, for some reason or other.

I was not joking about the pee.

A choking, smoking plastic fire they left burning untended for whatever bugfuck fancy that have crossed violence-addled minds. I put it out using water from a nearby well, to the applause of other hikers. The vegetation on Santubong is already so dry. All it takes is one stray spark to barbecue the entire mountain!

The gross looking well I mentioned earlier.

Brunch! "Made with chocolate, pretzels, peanut butter, caramel and peanut."

A Common Three-ring (Ypthima pandocus) with folded wings, showing its underside. The "three rings" refer to number of ocelli on the underside of one hindwing, as seen here.

Another Y. pandocus showing its upperside.

A Painted Jezebel (Delias hyparete diva) feeding from a flower.

An unidentified brown skink skittering nervously around the peak.

Southwest view. Click for larger view.

East view. Click for larger view.

A Swiss jerk smoking near me without asking me if I was okay with it.

A tiny, green grasshopper with striped hindlegs. I still suck at identifying them.

A pretty Common Bluebottle (Graphium sarpedon) feeding.

Another G. sarpedon that wouldn't even stop fluttering while feeding.

Looks like a Blue Helen (Papilio prexaspes) sunning itself on a leaf.

A peek at the other peak of Santubong which I was told was inaccessible.

A moth from the Nygmiini tribe. Likely Nygmia sp. or Rhypotoses sp..

View from Santubong about halfway down the mountain.

My first ever snapshot of the very loud jade-green cicada (Dundubia vaginata). I kept hearing them when I was hiking at Bukit Serumbu and Kubah National Park (where I took a recording of their shrill, soulless, almost-mechanical tymbalisation). It's good to actually see one. The picture quality left much to be desired though.

Here's a profile shot of another D. vaginata. They always creep to the other side of their trees whenever I approach them and if I get too close, they will buzz away to another tree.

View of the sea and Satang Besar Island near the entrance of the Bukit Putri trail.

An unencumbered view of Mount Santubong from Kampung Santubong located at its foothills. Majestic, no?

The beach at Kampung Buntal, a fishing village near Mount Santubong. Yonder lies the peninsula that hosts the Bako National Park. The building on stilts to the far left of this picture is a seafood restaurant called Lim Hock Ann.

The interior of Lim Hock Ann seafood restaurant. It quickly filled with customers shortly after this picture was taken.

When I first visited Sarawak in 2005, I was treated to some strange vegetable by my friend's mom at his house. I was told that the vegetable is called "midin", a fern known by the scientific name of Stenochlaena palustris. I fell in love with it instantly and insisting on ordering it for every single meal after that. One can even say that it was the reason why I decided to apply to Sarawak for Housemanship training in the first place.

A sweet and sour jellyfish, sesame and peanut salad that I adored when I first had it here in Lim Hock Ann in 2005.

A deep-fried threadfin fillet. Also known as ikan kurau in Malay. Served with a slice of lime.

Loves, loves, loves midin,
k0k s3n w4i