"Our saucer which art in a colander, draining be Your noodles. Thy noodle come, Thy meatballness be done on earth, as it is meaty in heaven. Give us this day our daily sauce, and forgive us our lack of piracy, as we pirate and smuggle against those who lack piracy with us. And lead us not into vegetarianism, but deliver us from non-red meat sauce. For thine is the colander, the noodle, and the sauce, forever and ever. R'Amen."A prayer to the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Have you been touched by his noodly appendage?
Ando Momofuko, founder of Nissin Foods, invented instant noodles in the 1950's after World War II. The man's simple philosophy was: "peace will come to the world when the people have enough to eat." Words to live by. I'm old-school and my favourite brand of instant ramen is naturally Nissin - the Tokyo shoyu flavour one in particular - which I would eat for every meal if I can (I can't). Maggi mee tastes like wormy turds in comparison. That's just a figure of speech; I don't actually know how wormy turds taste like.
About a month ago when I was shopping for comestibles in a supermarket, I noticed that they had revamped the packaging of my favourite noodle by bagging it in a semi-opaque outer plastic wrapper, partially obscuring the 5 individual packets inside. They look sexier, sure, but I couldn't shake off the nagging feeling that they were trying to hide something. The 5-packs I'm used to look like this,
Anyhow, I bought the new-packaged one because I had this vague idea that they would be fresher since they were obviously manufactured at a later date. Yes, it's ironic that I'm talking about the freshness of processed food so preserved they would outlast the mummified remains of ancient Egyptian pharaohs.
So, I went home and hours later, I started hankering for some hot, brothy, noodle action and tore a packet open. And I screamed like a girl scout jumped by a flashing hobo. There were only two sachets of condiments instead of the usual three.
The old packets came with an oily, shoyu seasoning sauce, a powdered soup base and some shredded nori. The new ones each just had a bigger sachet of powdered soup base and the seaweed, and I assume they had found a way to pulverize the shoyu. This is an abomination. I cooked the cake of noodle and my worst fear was confirmed: my favourite instant noodle now tastes
I have no fricking idea what I did to deserve this. I had always been thoroughly loyal (excepting that one time I flirted with Indomie - I was a younger and more foolish boy then). Sure, I went on health kicks once in awhile and swore off instant noodles for weeks at a time but I have always returned. Always. Aren't relationships all about the ups and downs, the fights and the mock break-ups? You have changed, Tokyu shoyu Nissin. I don't even know who you are anymore.
The next day, I gave the new-and-improved packets of noodle to a hostelite friend I know who likes Maggi (he wouldn't know better anyway). Then, I returned to the supermarket to hunt down the original and buy as many as I could. I confirmed that the old, transparently-packaged Nissin noodle still contained the shoyu seasoning sauce by feeling through the plastic. Using a palpation technique I learned in my 5 years in med school called the fluctuation test, I managed to determine that the sachets inside did still in fact contain a fluid (hurray for higher learning!). However, I did get more than a few sidelong glances for pressing on packets of instant noodle as if I was shopping for melons.
Silly random people. I bring my stethoscope when I shop for melons.
I don't know if Nissin will ever revert back to their old condiment formula but I'm going to boycott their products until they do so. Vote with your wallet, I always say. Till then, I'll just have to stretch my two dozen packets to last me for as long as humanly possible. Anyone got any other instant noodle to introduce to me? I'm on the rebound.
P.S. And does anyone know if boiling the noodle first and then mixing in the condiments after you poured it into a bowl is the correct way of cooking instant noodle?
Fueled by ramen,
k0k s3n w4i