There's a New Cinema in Town, Malaccans!

"The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder."

Alfred Hitchcock

Sweet tidings, plebs. Golden Screen Cinemas just set up a new ten-screener theatre at the ÆON Bandaraya Melaka Shopping Centre (also known as "New Jusco") which many of you might remember as the mall that started off epically with a bang and a live human sacrifice about a year ago. It's a lot nearer to where I live compared to the GSC at the Dataran Pahlawan Megamall, so that's just peaches. The problem is, in a couple of weeks, it will no longer be where I live.

I graced it with my presence last Thursday when it officially opened its door to the public to catch the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean flick. I discovered, to my surprise, that they have started offering student discounts for 3D films so I shamelessly posed as one to score it. I still carry my student ID from my university around for purposes such as this (since the admins had so kindly neglected to print an expiry date on mine). I expect to pay student prices well into my forties. There's this guy who had been held back for like twenty years in the medical college I attended (I shit you not), and if he's entitled to cheap movie tickets all his adult life, I should too.

With a bit of pluck and a can-do attitude, I might even be able to extend it till I start qualifying for the senior citizen discount at the age of 55.

The GSC logo bothers me because it puts S before G and tries to pass off the G as C.

That day, however, I forgot to bring my student ID with me, so I resigned myself to paying the full price just like every Tom's Harry Dick.

But lucky me, the bloke manning the box office was an exemplary model of customer service. He asked me which college I study at and after I lied to harmlessly misinformed him, he let me have my ticket at the discounted rate (huzzah). You might have encountered GSC clerks who would be absolute penises about it and would stare long and hard your student ID before sarcastic remarks about you not looking like a student and hurt your feelings. You might even have met clerks who would go above and beyond the call of duty to waylay you and point out that your student ID does not in fact have an expiry date. I have actually sat on the other side of a GSC box office counter before and I can tell you this: unless your supervisor is breathing down your neck and whispering sexy things into your ear, you can pretty much grant anyone a student, children or senior discount without so much as half a glance at their proof of age or studenthood. Anyone giving you trouble are just going out of their way to be mean. I say: Damn you, diligent employees! Damn you for fulfilling the responsibilities entrusted to you!

And because it was opening day, they were also giving out free coupons!

I need an incentive to go to a cinema like I need a spare butthole.

I think I became a movie buff after working at the GSC in Mahkota Parade for a couple of months between college and med school. It meant all the films I can watch, completely free of charge. And when I'm on usher duty, I even get to goof off and catch a flick on a slow weekday if I was so inclined at anytime. I still remember that Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Jackie Chan's The Myth, Into the Blue, Flight Plan, Cinderella Man, the American remake of Dark Water, A Sound of Thunder, and KL Menjerit 2 were all playing at the time and I must have watched each of them at least a dozen times. I didn't particularly like any of those, but through exposing myself to repeated viewings and having closely scrutinised every frame, I somehow managed to develop a whole new appreciation for the craft of filmmaking and how difficult it must be to make a movie.

Right, that's my daily random anecdote quota filled. Have a nice Monday night and a great morrow, you.

Monday's Child,

k0k s3n w4i