Wednesday, February 02, 2011

A Facebook Fatwa Against the Lunar New Year

"Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of fundamentalism that someone won't mistake for the real thing."

Poe's Law

This was spotted on the wall of a Facebook friend who describes herself as a "fundamentalist orthodox puritan muslimah",

The Fatwa Against Chinese New Year
Article 3 and 8 are my personal favourites.

When I asked her for permission to replicate her words here, she had this to say: "Yes please, Kok. The Chinese ought to know that they are destined for hell."

Also from the same fiery little miss,

Kafir World
Her response to the call for Malaysian Muslims to boycott "Zionist" products.

Her wall was plastered with posts like these. And to prove that Poe's Law holds true even in this instance, observe as this unironically devout, straight-arrow Muslim male walks right into the brick face of solid satire,

Scarlet A Dodge

Happy New Year's Eve, readers. Give up shark fin soup already and go easy on the suckling pig, alright?

Disclaimer: I neither endorse nor agree with the statements of the "fundamentalist orthodox puritan muslimah" above. I do however declare them to be made of win.

Definitely haram,
k0k s3n w4i


Azygous said...

Happy Chinese New Year to k0k bLok!
Nice banner.

Whatever it is, very good joke by this fiery lady to cheer up CNY. Not bad at all.

Give up shark fin soup and go easy on suckling pig? How can...

c3rs3i said...

Sassy. I like.

Dr.Vishaal Bhat said...

Ah! To be fiery! Happy New Year to you.. knowing you I did not call it CNY :)

By the way, design a better banner - more sleek rather than eating up some much space :)

février said...

will she let me share that too?

mg said...

nice new banner! and i hate suckling pig doesn't taste good at all... happy cny! come visit, im free day 1 and day 2 (time variable).

goingkookies said...

Haha.. Definitely one fiery lady!

sin said...

i like your friend

May Lee said...

i don't know this muslimah, but i sure as hell like her =D happy new year!

Liz ^^, said...

She is darn feisty !!! haha Veryyyyy cool ! :P

nicoletta said...

this reminds me of an article I came across in the star where apparently the National Fatwa Council prohibits Muslims from celebrating V Day because of "elements of Christianity and sin"

Brilliant satire, I thought.

Anonymous said...

This post of yours really made me laugh. Thanks for making my day :D - Misa.a

k0k s3n w4i said...

Azygous: i've given up shark fin soup for 5 years. the cartilaginous fins are tasteless, rubbery and possess no nutritional value to speak of. it's the significantly cheaper crabmeat stew it's usually served with that gives it its flavour. the practice of shark-fishing is breathtakingly cruel (they cut off the bits they want then toss the entire shark back into the ocean to slowly and painfully drown because they can't breathe if they can't swim). as the apex predators of oceanic ecosystems, their decline allow the proliferation of coral-eating fishes, which results in the devastation of beautiful, irreplaceable coral reefs. there is absolutely NO benefits whatsoever to eating shark fin soup, not even for its taste - why insist on eating it?

c3rs3i: thought you might.

Dr.Vishaal Bhat: i actually thought the last banner was too small. besides, this one is less than 100 kilobytes in size.

beve: go right ahead. and i'm surprised you didn't make any jokes about po's law.

mg: lies, suckling pig is ambrosia. sorry, i couldn't make the visit and sorry i'm only telling you this on the 3rd day of new year.

goingkookies: yep, glad you approve :)

sin: i can introduce you :P

May Lee: you and me both.

Liz ^^,: and hilarious.

nicoletta: heh, there's actually a video of an ustazah lecturing on this very issue making its rounds on the internet - it made its way to the malaysian atheist facebook group i belong to eventually. here, Valentine's Day - HARAM dalam Islam

Misa.a: the pleasure's all mine :)