"I can't believe you got this far in med school," said the Long-Suffering Girlfriend™ and that's only fair taking into account of all the times I've made fun of the entire discipline of dentistry (I frequently remind her that if all the doctors, nurses, and dentists in the country took turns to go on a day's leave, no one will notice the day the dentists are away). We kid because we looove.
But what she said is true. If they really know how much effort I put into passing my exams, they'd kick me out of the institution on principle. I am unambitious and non-competitive, but far too passionate about academic (and non-academic) subjects outside of the field of medicine. There's something about arranging an entire field of science into a structured curriculum which kills interest like kerosene kills lice.
In a month, I'll either give it the ol' college try and graduate a doctor or be held back for a whole six months to give myself something real to be depressed about. In the course of the past 5 years, I seem to have forgotten why I checked myself into this profession for. I am far too selfish to be good doctor. I think hard work is a human disease which should be eradicated, preferably using something convenient like a vaccine. And I hate people in general. Maybe I should go into radiology.
A couple of nights ago, I had another one of those Sisyphean (I like this word) dreams. This time, I wandered from house parties to house parties in search of a thick, red mathematics workbook; looking for boredom in the midst of fun. I thought it was a bit karmic considering that I only did about 1% of the maths homework I was set to do throughout my school career. I usually just solve the hardest question of each assignment and feed the rest to my dog because I thought that there isn't much point in repetition if you already understand the basics of it. Don't you?
An unlicensed homeopath initiated a conversation with me the other day and I was too much of a wuss to tell him that he's a quack. He told me he was treating a few patients with colon cancer and all I did was to ask him if they were also undergoing conventional therapy. He said yes, and I let it go. He was surprised at how much I already know about homeopathy though - he would have been even more surprised to find out that that's because I always make it a point to know about the pseudoscientific magical thinking I oppose (including religion). Oh well, some battles aren't worth fighting. Besides, he's the nephew of the patient I was interviewing and I would like to keep things cordial in the room.
I can't decide if the days are going too fast or too slow.
P.S. I bought a grapefruit. It's been sitting in my fridge for a couple of days now.