Thursday, July 01, 2010

A Flash of Flood

"I believe that water is the only drink for a wise man."

Henry David Thoreau

Wise, yes. Happy? I reckon not.

I just returned from my fifth or sixth attempt at donating my thoroughly motivational and uplifting blood (my type is B positive, GET IT?!) and I said 'attempt' because half the time, my liquid life force would stop draining before I could even fill half a half-pint bag. This time around, I think I've set my personal record low: only 50 ml before my vein quit on me. How embarrassing.

I guess I just have a selfish body. My veins are small and frail, and they never pop - and my blood clots super fast. Maybe I should give this whole blood donation shenanigan up before I destroy all my superficial vessels with my charitable and giving personality.

And yeah, my house was flooded again. And it's much worse this time around.

Last night, I got back from a latish screening of Knight and Day at about 1:00 am. It's a really silly movie which is very similar in tone to Mr. and Mrs. Smith (though it isn't nearly as good) and Tom Cruise is, in my opinion, the best thing about it... but I digress. Anyway, the sky started the waterworks in earnest in the vicinity of half past one and I decided to turn in early (early for me) because sleeping while it's raining hard outside is one of the greatest little pleasures in life. So, stuffing my MP3 player's earbuds into my head and turning on /Filmcast's review of the movie I just saw, I proceeded with my nightly ritual of trying to wrestle my consciousness into submission.

The podcast ended at about 2:00 am and I found myself still very much awake (while the rain was still very much obeying the law of gravity outside). I decided instead to fool around on the internet till my energy peters out. With my legs up on my chair and the lights still killed, I did just that for about 15 minutes when I thought I had enough and dropped my feet. And lo and behold, my soles slapped water!

I must have fucking spilt something, was my first thought. A LOT of something.

When I got the lights on, this was the horror which greeted mine eyes,

Monsoon Time
Haha, very funny, God. Fuck you.

That weird brown rectangular object near my chest of drawers is an old-timey bathroom scale which belonged to my great grandmother (just thought I should explain that out of the way first).

I found my CPU sitting on the floor in an inch depth of muddy floodwater and I leapt right into action with a total disregard of the danger of electrocution and lifted it right out of the drink with an almighty roar of manliness (actually, it was more of an 'Oh shit! Oh shit!' series of whimpers). It gives me the heebie-jeebies to think what would have happened to it had I actually fallen asleep with it left running - and I do leave it running 24/7, eff-why-eye.

Nelson's Essentials of Pediatrics textbook - which I use to prop up my chair because it was missing a wheel - was pretty much ruined but completely. Luckily, my precious spec-fic novels were safely stacked away on higher ground or I would have totally lost my shit right there and then.

Venturing out into the living room, I found my brand new Timberland Gore-Tex trainers bobbing about like two fucking canoes for fucking mice in half a feet of water. If they weren't waterproof or didn't float upright, they would have been ruined too. My brown, semi-formal Timberland slip-ons didn't fare so well though; they were trapped under a shoe-rack outside and went totally submarine on me. It'll be weeks before all that dampness gets out of them, I can tell you.

Having done all I could and saved everything which needed rescuing, I dragged myself upstairs into one of the empty bedrooms for a spot of maintenance downtime for my brain. I debated whether to wake my grandmother up and alerting her to the situation downstairs but she would probably stay up all night long fretting about something she couldn't help - so I didn't. Boy, the old girl was in for one hell of a shock come morning.

The gross incompetence that is the MPMBB (Malaccan City Council) would have some explaining to do for this, especially since the last big downpour already demonstrated the inadequacy of the local drainage system. It all started when they drained a nearby marshy area to build even more housing like the planet isn't already overpopulated with all the wrong kinds of people. Someone needs to stir shit up and fuck some people in the ass start a proper inquiry into this. I heard a joint lawsuit is in the works but I'm pretty sure it's all just a lot of hot air. Some of that hot air better dry my Timberlands up, is what I'm saying.

Reluctantly amphibious,
k0k s3n w4i


kenwooi said...

no upclose pic of the old bathroom scale? i wanna see how it is like =)

Lukey Cher Hong said...

well, with the efficiency of the malaysian government, you can never be too sure when the problem will get fixed. but look on the bright side, an indoor swimming pool!

Dropped by from Lukey's Rantings

bla bla said...

flash flood! like flash light?

:D heehee two canoes for mice. so cute! like something out of a disney movie xD po has his own disney setting right there in his room :D

who in their right mind calls himself lukey? x) no offence okay, it was said as a tease and not an insult D:

Nana Eddy said...

I'm B+ too! and yeah, I experience the same thing as you the first time I did blood donation. The pint is only filled halfway through then it stops. I guess our blood vessel is not cooperating with our charity intention. GKK

Serene said...

aww.. well thankfully you didn't have any other expensive items lying around on the floor.

drop by here!

Hilda Milda™ said...

you mean even the room is flooded? that is serious :O

May Lee said...

my deepest sympathies. your shoes may have aided some hapless mouse in its attempt to escape the raging floodwaters, though!

Michelle Chin said...

OMG!!!!! You know I haven't visited your blog for ages and when I come back to visit it, your place is flooded

Anyway, your Forrest Gump-ified "Kereta Proton" karangan is cute. :)

Jen said...

Y'know, if you didnt mention that your room was flooded, I'd have thought you were showing off a terribly boring picture of your room that has a brown shiny marble floor.

That, and showing off your stack of books there just waiting to tumble down.


The Blogger (63672674) [meoramri] said...

Condolences bro....


k0k s3n w4i said...

kenwooi: dude, focus! room is under and inch of water!

Lukey Cher Hong: yes, a swimming pool - if i'm 2 inches tall.

beve: haha, very funny. how about some sympathy here? i'm a flood victim! the sort you read about in the papers alla time!

Nana Eddy: let us all b positive! GKK. guess we just aren't cut out to give blood, eh?

Serene: actually, my external hard disk drive was completely submerged, but it's still working, miraculously :)

Hilda Milda™: oh the bright side, we received RM 200 in compensation. it'd be great if they actually address the problem rather than trying to appease us with our own tax money.

May Lee: if only the real world is so cartoonishly cute. by the way, happy birthday!

Michelle Chin: you make it sound as if my blog is flooded, haha. and thanks, we all know that the proton is a retarded car anyway.

Jen: ahem, my floor is originally white in colour. remember when we first met at ikea in 2007 and i wanted to get a bookshelf? i still haven't gotten one :P

meoramri: why? no one died.

février said...

your house isn't gone. the clothes on your back aren't the only ones you have. your family is still alive. what flash flood victim - GOD'S KARMA. :P

your CPU or whatever it is died ma :D so is it dead or what

-hui- said... have a mini library in there !!! So cool.. lucky those weren't wet or it would be a shame... how are you going to get the water out and dry your place anyway.. sounds like tedious work

Anonymous said...

was the irony between your failed veins and plumbing system intended? just wondering..=)

k0k s3n w4i said...

beve: didn't u read? my CPU is okay. it's your ability to read that's dead =d

-hui-: oh, drying isn't the problem. it's what the water left behind that gives me pain. the stacks of books extend down to the left behind the door also :)

anonymous: not intentional, no :) but now that you've mentioned it...