Saturday, May 02, 2009

What You Can Do When You're Throwing Up

Vomit don't taste very good. It tastes worse when it's made up entirely of four shitty cans of 9.2% ABV strong beer mixed with bile and gastric juice, after it had been splashing about in my otherwise empty stomach for four hours. I spent the morning running between the sink and the water jug trying to flush out the last vestiges of my mistake while swearing that that would be the last time I pour such vile stuff into myself. Considering that I have never once puked after drinking in my life before, I would have to lay the blame solely on the beer's taste. I swear that if there's a hell for alcoholics, their punishment would be to chug that awful swill for all eternity. That'd make them turn to Christ in a real hurry, I can tell you that.

After about an hour of turning my innards inside out, my mouth tasted like I've been munching on bricks of shit all night long. No amount of water could wash that horrid aftertaste away. On an impulse, I threw the fridge door open and found an ice-cold can of F&N Orange - which I downed bottoms up in less than a minute. It turned out to be a real stroke of brilliance because every time I puke after that, my sick tastes just like F&N Orange! Try it the next time you got shitfaced and found yourself doing an impression of a sea cucumber regurgitating its guts.

You heard it here first people. Make your vomit taste better by drinking F&N Orange.

This has been another important public service announcement on k0k bL0k. Please vote for me for President of Planet Earth 2010. Over and out.

8 comments:

Jia Hui said...

Haha! Sounds like an advertisement for F&N!

kok wai said...

Vote me for Prez of the Universe...

bevE said...

u should've drank some water before going to bed

lingghezhi said...

whoa... sweet...

ericG said...

whoa... vomit after drinking beer..? Anyhow, great tip.

ven said...

vomit after drinking, drink more for cure =P

Jen said...

HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHHAHA!!!

please allow me to point and laugh some more.

HHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAHHA!!

i'd rather try it with kickapoo instead. plus, it'll still be green!

k0k s3n w4i said...

Jia Hui: LOL, i dun normally like the vile stuff - but that morning, it really hit the spot :D

kok wai: dowan.

bevE: i should have eaten something before drinking -.-

lingghezhi: stuff they dun teach in med school :)

ericG: try it! really worked! I vomited after drinking really bad beer. i'll stick to liquor and mixed drinks from now on. those taste waaay better.

ven: that's why i keep a bottle of vodka in my room :)

Jen: kickapoo makes me wanna vomit more. there must be like 20 different kinds of toxic sludge in it. i wun be surprise if you tell me kickapoo glows in the dark.