Monday, June 06, 2011

The Obedient Wives Club

"Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you, so come to your place of cultivation however you wish and put forth [righteousness] for yourselves."

Verse 223, Surat Al-Baqarah (The Cow), Al-Qur'an

Yes, women are for ploughing, whenever or however we wish! Thanks, Allah! You're the man!

This is inspiring. A group of Muslim wives in Malaysia have just banded together and formed the Obedient Wives Club (OWC) to curb social ills by offering sex lessons to help pious Muslim women "serve their husbands better than a first-class prostitute". Yes, that is a real soundbite and no, this isn't an Onion article.

Here is what its vice-president, Dr Rohaya Mohamad, had to say about their philosophies and aims in an interview. Pretty much every line she said should either be capitalised, boldfaced, or underlined.

It starts at 1:18. Luckily for the rest of you foreign readers, she speaks English, slightly broken.

According to the doctor, we have focused only on the traditional virtues of a "good wife" - her place in the kitchen and by the cradle-side - for too long while neglecting her crucial role in the marriage bed. The subtext here is that Dr Rohaya's idea of a good Muslim woman's place in marriage is to cook, to make babies, and to service her husband sexually. That's pretty much all women are good for, isn't it? She further said that to ensure a woman's safety in this world and the hereafter, she only needs to fulfill four conditions: (1) Pray five times a day, (2) Fast during the month of Ramadan, (3) Be chaste, and (4) Be obedient to her husband.

"We believe [the last thing to be] lacking," she added.

She believes that if women are obedient and better at sex, we can eradicate prostitution, promiscuity, human trafficking, baby-dumping, and domestic violence. That's right people, it's the bitch's fault that she got beaten, mentally abused or raped by her husband! It must be because she wouldn't suck his pee-pee or let him use her backdoor or something! And if a man goes out to whore and keep mistresses, it's because his wife isn't doing fulfilling her duty as his sex slave! I have long noticed this pattern in very religious societies; it's always the women who have to shoulder the blame for the failings of men.

Now, the Obedient Wives Club initiative had been criticised by many women's rights groups, including the Sisters in Islam, but you know what? I'm actually on Dr Rohaya and her coven's side on this issue.

"Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand."

Verse 34, Surat An-Nisā' (The Women), al-Qur'an

If the Qur'an is 100% true, one can hardly fault their logic. Women are expected by Allah to be obedient, to please their husbands' every whim, and on Allah's dictate, it's men's God-given right to beat the ever-loving crap out of their wives when they don't. Dr Rohaya and her friends simply got their eyes on the real prize: entrance into Allah's heaven. What's a ruptured eyeball and a few broken ribs compared to that, eh?

When asked if wives should remain obedient even when their husbands continue to cheat or be violent to them despite being serviced admirably in the bedroom, Dr Rohaya has this to say, "God has His ways and is fair to all. A husband is also subject to God's rule, meaning he can go to hell, too. But a woman must be a good wife to the end."

One dissenting Muslim man, Amirul Aftar, wrote: "I do not want a wife to submit to my every beck and call. I want a wife who understands me... we are not your masters, we are your equal."

How dare this blasphemer contradict the words of Allah Almighty! The Qur'an clearly states that a woman is only worth half a man (2:282), and a daughter should only stand to inherit half as much as male heirs (4:11). Brother Amirul clearly had his brain polluted by the misguided ideals of the Western devils!

The Obedient Wives Club is part of Global Ikhwan Pte Ltd, which also founded the Polygamy Club. I'm beginning to think it's an awesome idea to convert to Islam and join their fantastic clubs. I mean, I'm a good guy. I want to help eliminate prostitution and domestic abuse too!

P.S. Commenter Kate suggested the this article and video for further consideration.

Is worth at least two women,
k0k s3n w4i


Terri said...

loved this particular post :D

Azygous said...

Being a women nowadays are damn stressful, as they not only required to be a good cook, good mothers, but according to Pn. Rohayah...being a prostitute to the husband also!

"A good wife is a good sex worker to her husband. What is wrong with being a your husband?" she said

Where are all the mutual respect?
So a wife is merely a "sex worker"?

C'mon man, are we still barbarians?
Even if the wife accepts it, how about when the husband asking for sex 5-6 times/day?
Or asking for oral sex?
If the wife refuse, she'll be stoned to death is it?

by d way,
why there is no "Obedient husbands" club ?

c3rs3i said...

How delightful for muslim men! I'd have me 4 such scintillating wives and a couple more on the side, thank you very much.

I think this great idea hasn't had enough recognition and support though. It should be spearheaded by someone with more sway in society (besides Allah swt, I mean), a powerful woman other females can look up to and emulate. Now if someone like, say, Malaysia's first lady were to sign up and there were signs of its efficacy, I think this could really bite!

Vin Tsen Gan said...

Ohhhh now I get the whole picture. So when there's a hike in the frequency of domestic violence, prostitution etc, blames should only and always be assigned to those over-maternalistic wives who practically spend their entire life cooking, cleaning and looking after the welfare their man instead of giving them blowjobs.

By jingo, life is good for Malaysian men.

Liz said...

When I was in my first year, I took this subject called Decision-Making Skills. For one of the assignments, we were supposed to research on a subject as a group and present our findings. My group, we decided to do a research on a (aheh) pretty taboo subject in our country, which was abnormal sex. We discussed the different types (SM, bestiality etc.) (Looking back, I don't know how this is related to Decision-Making, but anyway....)

There was this other group of guys who went up to present their discussion on the topic of Adulterous Husbands. The presented their discussion on the reasons why it happens:

1) Wife does not know how to handle the household (does not do laundry, or cook well etc.)
2) Wife does not know how to win husband's heart
3) Wife does not submit to husband
4) Wife likes to nag without reason
5) Husband cannot control his desires
6) Third party seduction

(I'm very sure this is right because I recorded this down out of pure indignation.)

So, according to THEM, out of the 6 reasons given, 5/6 are the WOMAN'S fault.

I was so enraged, I tell you I was literally shaking. But being a first year then, I didn't have the courage to speak out. If that happened again, now, I swear I would ask for permission to speak and rip them to pieces. How DARE they?!!! >.<

I remember being completely appalled at how these ridiculous thoughts and ideas could come from university-level-educated students. And worse, my lecturer did not question their logic at all. Nobody did, for that matter. Either it was just plain apathy, or I was surrounded by male chauvinists !!!! >.<

Now I realize such uneducated thoughts can come from ANYONE, and that I should not be surprised at all.

And I guess you won't be surprised to know that this group of five guys were all proudly wearing jackets that read "Fakulti Pengajian Islam".

Disgusting. >.<

Michelle Chin said...

This is funny. Newton said that to every action, there is a reaction. How come we women have to be blamed for everything? Why not, to try and curb prostitution, we make men wear chastity belts and women keep the locks? If they can do that to women, women can do that to men! *being sarcastic*

And I did study briefly about the history of the quran in uni. Apparently, it is transcribed by an all men's team and have been subjected to changes again and again. If god is that great, he would have made sure that men and women are equal!

Also, this whole club thing is shallow thinking. PEOPLE, especially PHD HOLDERS, should understand that women are not the sole reason why men cheat or do nasty things to us. If everything is attributed to the environment, then this leaves two factors out: the fact that the biology of the brain drives these actions (person more prone to violence) and the person's control over events in his or her life!

Man, they should study some psychology!

nicoletta said...

Damn, I wish they'd started this club several years earlier - could've saved my marriage.

Hey, wait a minute.....

Anonymous said...

My opinion is this. I did a bit of online research and though I know that prostitution is almost as old as the creation of this Earth, it actually started out as a religion as paganism is one of the religions. Those times, instead of the word prostitude, words such as lovers, mates, concubines were used. Back those days it seemed like you know who your hubby is having sex with. Unlike the modern ages where prostitudes have to hide themselves and what they do is considered a crime unless she sleeps with that policeman which does happen. Though a highly qualified doctor, yet Doctor Rogayah failed to think about the history of prostitution. Back those days when people were more conservative and a prostitude can be stoned to death or die using whatever means, they could have got rid of prostitution. But prostitution stood the test of time. Till today, this trade is still around and will be around until the world comes to an end. This is because when there is a demand, there is a supply. Doctor Rogayah can teach women how to have good sex but using words like prostitudes is like as if the wife is as cheap as a prostitude. And what's love got to do with anything. Or respectful sex. Doctor Rogayah being a third wife herself will never know what is love and sex. She only knows sex because if she has love, she would be the one and only first wife. That 800 members of the obedient wife club better know how to have sex like prostitudes before teaching anyone else. By the way, how do you teach someone to act like a prostitude ? Suck his penis ? Have him fuck you in the anus. Speak all the fuck me when intercourse is taking place. Say more , more , more as orgasm draws near.

Kate said...

I thought your tongue-in-cheek post was very amusing, but the topic of the Obedient Wives Club is still infuriating. I have a heard time seeing how women could correlate obedience to fidelity or care. Being someone’s slave doesn’t make them respect you, so they’re just putting women in an inferior position where they’re more likely to be abused or mistreated, and definitely undervalued.
I wanted to share this video on the Obedient Wives Club with you and your readers. I think you’ll appreciate how it analyzes news coverage from different sources to show various perspectives on the club and their thoughts about obedience to men as a prevention tool for domestic abuse. There’s also a part from a Malaysian media outlet about how the club is disappointing and harmful to the country’s reputation. I hope you’ll considering embedding the video in your post.


k0k s3n w4i said...

Terri: my other posts remain unloved by you :(

Azygous: islam informs the way these people think. allah commanded obedience from wives to husbands, not the other way round. i think obedience is rubbish in general. it's a false virtue just like faith. what would the nazis' have accomplished without the obedience of basically decent people?

c3rs3i: i'm afraid all the more prominent malay muslim women in malaysia have been compromised by white people's crazy ideas about women's rights (pffft, as if that will ever catch on) and western tv shows like sex in the city where women who *gasp* don't cover their hair in public! they should read twilight instead to teach to learn how to worship men.

Vin Tsen Gan: well, we got to blame someone right?!

Liz: society in general has a chauvinistic bent. the children in marriages still take the father's name. islam and christianity, the two biggest religions in the world today, have scripturally assigned unequal gender standings. outdated ideas of a "good woman". this persists even in the most enlightened circles, like how men who sleep around are studs while women who do the same are sluts. i try my best to not let my male biases creep into my discourse and actions, but it's an active process (and frankly, it's not easy to do when my girlfriend is an admitted misogynist). you really should have stood up and give them a piece of a liberated woman's mind. i'm surprised no one did. i would have.

Michelle Chin: the qur'an, the bible... all these scriptures are written by men, for men. women always come across like afterthoughts to me in these texts when they aren't being actively vilified. i don't think you would even need to invoke possible edits in the transcription of the qur'an to explain its treatment of women. the author of the book itself is a man with 11 to 13 wives - and that's not counting the the numerous concubines and slave girls that he had bedded. it's a radically different world back then.

nicoletta: clearly, your mistake was not choosing to invest in a slave leia costume.

Anonymous: i bet you are a guy :P besides, there is a lot of misconceptions in your understanding. prostitution did not start out as or from a pagan religion. while some cultures like the ancient greeks and mesopotamians practiced "sacred prostitution", regular prostitution are more the norm and have existed long before their holier counterparts. in fact, some historians have disputed the very existence of the phenomenon of sacred prostitution - so take it with a pinch of salt.

Kate: i believed i have covered most of the bases in my post, albeit in an indirect, irreverent fashion - but i'll edit the link you suggested into the post.

Miss J said...

i was trying to find article bout the obedient wives club and i found your article.. i do disagree about this club and i am a muslim.. very impressive ... u know bout quran verses but sadly u got d wrong meaning of it. pls do add more knowledge on quran to make it less mistake when u translate the meaning of it.. every religion ask human to do good things... bad things, bad words, bad attitude comes from human itself, not from religion... and human LOVES to put a blame on others, on religion, on anything other than themself.. do you know that the a wifes salary is belong to her alone, but a husband salary is for the family? that is islam but people who dont know said islam treat WOMAN badly...

k0k s3n w4i said...

Miss J: muslims like to point out to me that my interpretation of qur'an verses are wrong, but i have yet to meet a single muslim who can tell me how i'm wrong. even muslims scholars themselves differ on their interpretations of these verses and i have read about well-educated mullahs in the UK who use 2:223 to justify their opinion that there is no such thing as rape in marriages. i beg, beg, beg you; tell me also how 4:34 means differently from how i interpreted it? does it not tell wives to be obedient to their husbands? does it also not give husbands the right to beat their wives? i am tired of that stupid sheep's platitude that "every religion ask human to do good things" no, every religion asks its followers to do good and bad things. the a priori assumption that religions teach only good is why we get so many crimes against humanity perpetrated by the believers who can't tell the difference between bad and good without a centuries-old book to tell them what's what. until you can show me how every single one of my interpretations of qur'an verses is wrong, you remain a liar in my eyes, muslimah.

Unknownlyknown said...

I'm not sure whether you are being serious or sarcastic about this OWC matter. But please k0k, you have totally misinterpret Quran and Muhammad. Understand it clearly next time, u're bringing confusion to people mate..Compare to other religion, women never been put equally to men as Islam did. It shows how Islam is not just a religion, it teach you the way to live

k0k s3n w4i said...

Unknownlyknown:"But please k0k, you have totally misinterpret Quran and Muhammad."

i'll call your bluff as i did to the previous commenter - show me how i misinterpreted every verse featured in this post. if you can't then you have no case.

"Compare to other religion, women never been put equally to men as Islam did."

that is a lie. unlike islam, the bahá'í faith treats women with complete equality. i kept hearing this unseemly boast from muslims about how their belief system elevates women more than other faiths, but it's simply untrue - as i've proven above.

"It shows how Islam is not just a religion, it teach you the way to live"

funny, i heard that exact same line thing from christians before.

brother, i am not against islam specifically. i am equally critical of all faiths and all religions as i do not belong to any of them. i am willing to have a discussion with you if you can justify your arguments with sound reasoning and evidence but otherwise, there can be no fruitful conversation between us if you simply decide to say anything you want without backing them up with proof or evidence.

Zzzyun said...

my first reaction when i read about this 'obedient wives club' was that i was so disgusted that i could hardly believe it was real and not fiction.

but alas it was. wow, thanks, now at least a lot of white men are going to try find asian women to be their wives. coz they are 'good wife' - cook, clean, take care of the kids and obey their every demand! :(

yuhhui said...

'I mean, I'm a good guy. I want to help eliminate prostitution and domestic abuse too!'

SUPER LIKE!.. ROFL!! nice way to end it.. though i wonder how will your gf take it. =p.

This club is totally dumb and being a girl, i'm ashamed that the vice president of the club is a woman herself. It's sad that Malaysia has such issues. They seriously could do something more meaningful rather than teaching about sex. She just gave Islam a very bad name. It's as though in Islam, a stable family is all about sex.

k0k s3n w4i said...

Zzzyun: maybe phoebe can finally get a white guy as her boyfriend like she always wanted :P

yuhhui: i expect my girlfriend to be obedient when it comes to such matters, haha. anyway, i think you should read the qur'an before assuming that that's sex is not featured prominently within that book. allah seems to take a rather especial interest in muhammad's sex life.

Azygous said...

i think you should read the qur'an before assuming that that's sex is not featured prominently within that book. allah seems to take a rather especial interest in muhammad's sex life.

yup, agree.
Do you know that one of his wife was only 9 years old when she got married to him?
I'm sure you do.

So, he's a...?

Pou Leen said...

Love the sense of sarcasm here..

Dr. Rohaya's alll twisted in the head, if you ask me. I don't know what her husband's fed her... his pee-pee maybe, and now she's all wrong in the head.

Men, answer (if you dare)!
1) Why the need to hit us women, when we fail to please you? If physical violence's the way to go, well then the next time you men fail to give us women the orgasm we DESERVE, can we kick you in the balls for a change?

2) When we say no to your sex invites, you go to a WHORE? So if you're one day diagnosed with ED, can I go visit the Gigolo I've always had my eyes on?

3) Cooking and laundry's not a woman's job. It's a human's job.

But you don't see no women kicking their men's balls. You don't see no women visiting Gigolo (maybe just a minority...) You see ALL (well, almost) women taking up the cooking and laundry job PASSIONATELY. And it's all done in the name of LOVE.

Yes, maybe education's caused women today to be more opiniated than how they used to. But hey, you're marrying a human. If obedience is what you men are going for; someone who would attend to your every need, agree to your every action, all the time; go marry a robot. It's how we nag, diagree and get mad for no reason that drives you men crazy in love. That's what makes us women special.

What Dr. Rohaya needs to understand is this:
If a man loves a woman, he wouldn't hit her. If a man loves a woman, he wouldn't want another. If a man loves a woman, he'll love EVERYTHING that she does, and that includes how she says NO to sex. LOVE is to be given, not gained. It should be unconditional.

Dr. Rohaya, your husband doesn't love you. You have to go through all the trouble (so much so that you have to top a prostitute) just to gain just that tiny piece of love from him But that's alright. We understand how this whole situation's making you a lil nuts, but you're definitely going straight up to heaven for putting up with a man like him. =)

k0k s3n w4i said...

Azygous: he's not what you're implying, though. he supposedly waited till she had her first menses before consummating their marriage - and that is perfectly find within the cultural context of the time. there's no indication in the qur'an or in any other historical texts which imply he had a preference for children.

Pou Leen: i'd marry a woman with an opinion over a doormat any day - if i ever marry at all. i think the institution of marriage as it is practiced today is still a misogynistic construct, and i respect women too much to marry one :P
"It's how we nag, diagree and get mad for no reason that drives you men crazy in love. That's what makes us women special."
no, it's not. i don't mind disagreements (in fact, i try to get my girlfriend to disagree more often), but i dumped the last girl who nagged and frequently got mad for no reason -.-

Pou Leen said...

Of course, nothing's good when too much... =) I'd dump a man who all the time nags and get mad for no reason... it's cute, when done occasional... giving me the opportunity to go all "manja-manja" with him =)

Kruger said...

hurm, now this is interesting. in my opinion, the main problem now is sex. now, tell me, wat is sex?? wat is the purpose 4 it? 4 me, sex is a way 4 man n wives 2 share their intimacy n love 2 each other, besides a way of making babies. this shows that most of the blamed is place on wives in particular. just becoz they r refusing blowjobs n etc, wives must be blamed. if u say that amirul aftar's statement shows pollution in his mind, then, 4 men asking 4 blowjobs n etc would be the same rite. n wives r not sex slaves, this club existance as if demanding them 2 be one. n if the rate of prostitution n baby dumping(which i doubt got anything 2 with this matter) still keep on increasing, wat n who should be blame then??

Dr Mohamed said...

I think you misunderstand me.

k0k s3n w4i said...

Dr Mohamed: and you are? and how have i misunderstood you?

eve said...

I agree with OWC. Its just that OWC left out some things. Firstly, if a husband wants his wife to be like a prostitute in bed then he must ensure she has " prostitute" status
1. Make sure she gets paid each time you have sex with her
2. Get a maid to do ALL the housework- maybe even move her to a posh hotel for " services" to be given by her.
3. make sure no children for her to take care of-- prostitutes dont have children interrupting their day so they can relax and look good all the time.
4 be passionate to her like you are with prostitutes

But I must admit there's some truth in OWC - women can maybe offer some massages etc to make them happy. I did- now my hubby giving me massages too and taking me out shopping. I wonder is that prostitution or is it marital happiness-- bit difficult. But thank god we are married!!!

Anonymous said...

Al Quran is 100% correct. It is not a question of if. When Allah promises that women who are obedient heaven, then heaven it is...BELIEF is a very powerful motivation..and we have seen this in many civilizations, not just the Islamic civilization..Do study Islam thoroughly not just take a piece here and there and attack it...If you do this I promise you Islam is a JUST religion to not just men, women but also animals...I graduated from one of the universities in USA..and I am a modern woman...I love everything about fashion and entertainment, but that does not mean by being a Muslim lady, i am restricting myself to being a narrow minded person...I have to say, Islam is the only religion in the world that let its followers think superbly guided by Quran..enhances your brain power...People who are not willing to think....are the ones who are narrow minded..
Go back to the topic,Obedient Wife Club, think for a sec what does OCW mean better than a first class prostitute, first class, not street prostitute...well, 1st class, simple to say they have CLASS, they have styles, they take care of every inch of their bodies/assets, they learn and keep on increasing their knowledge about sex to ensure satisfaction, they LOVE what they are doing...and because of this many MEN are willing to part with tons of money, devout their time, and some sacrifice/risk/leave their marriages for such women, who made them `addicted' them...

So when the OCW made such statement, all the narrow minded people jumped off their seats. I honestly believe they don't mean for the Muslim wives to be like prostitutes...but rather try to gain such `power' to make your men `addicted' to you and will not go astray...

As a modern Muslim lady who is also a Malaysian, I have seen many incidents (also in the family), that men left their wives for other women..Well, apart from some genuine cases that some men are jerks, but I have to admit that when i look carefully...i found a pattern,... wives who couldn't care less about taking care/grooming themselves, only think of sex as duty and never really enjoy it (some don't even know what ORGASM is all about) and who don't even have time to look at their marriages (due to chores, jobs, children, etc)...

And as a MARRIED, MUSLIM and MALAYSIAN woman, from my experience), marriage has been wonderfully happy, fulfilled and BLESSED. Apart from other factors that contribute to successful marriage, I believe the most important factor is SEX. We have been married for 13 years and never grow tired of each other's body, we had sex, the same way we had during our honeymoon time, we still enhance our knowledge about sex (kama sutra positions importantly) to make sex even greater...and i am not afraid to be my husband's BITCH on the bed.

When people have the most 2-3 times a week, we have it sometimes almost everyday..So I believe, my husband is truly addicted to me and my body, as much i am to his...So I have to admit by having knowledge about sex and give my hubby a first class treatment, our marriage has been wonderfully strengthened and blessed with understandings. He understands that for me to be an obedient wife, he needs to be obedient husband as well, and Islam is our way of life...

So think for a minute, maybe hours and hours of research and open hearts/minds before commenting skeptically on a matter that you know only on the surface.....

Anonymous said...

Funny when you take wikipedia as your source? what a real kok blok u are.. go read some paid journal from Emerald..