Sunday, May 16, 2010

Lost Weight, Won Bet

"We are the pretty people
You wanna look like us
We are the pretty people
Give it up, give it up, give it up
We are the pretty people
Best of humankind
We are the pretty people
Flawless by design"

Pretty People (2004) by Dexter Freebish


This prodigal son returneth from Butterworth yesterday morning after a grueling 7 hours of unaccompanied, monotonous driving (though the scenery on the highway just south of Ipoh was real grand, I must mention). If you think that's hard, try upping the ante by starting the journey at 4:00 am after skipping an entire night's sleep. For those who were worried about my safety, fret no more. For those that have been hoping for news of my demise, sorry to disappoint.

Now, remember this post I wrote about a month ago? In that, I mentioned in passing that I wanted to lose 5.0 kilograms of hunk meat off my manly girth while I was half-vacationing in the de facto food capital of Malaysia - that is to say, I was taking on a task most Herculean. Overconfident much?

Nope.

I actually did it! I lost not 5 but 6 kilos in 5 weeks - dropping from 76 to 70. To put it into perspective, that's about 8% of my total body weight. It's quite a feat, even if it did not compare to that other time when I shed 9 kilos over 3 weeks through semi-starvation. Now, in case anyone starts shouting "ANOREXIC!" in my face, I want to point out that I have no body image problems whatsoever. In fact, anytime my weight goes above 74 kg, my body mass index falls squarely into 'overweight' territory. I am merely trying to maintain a healthy average, is all.

The story actually started at the beginning of this year when I discover that I am circling 77 kg after an impromptu weighing in at an ENT clinic where I was posted. In March, I told my grandmother that I'm turning vegan for a month and told her to adjust the dinner menu thus - though I still devour with gusto the flesh of many small and large animals outside of home throughout that period. I figured that turning the biggest meal of my day into rabbit feed would would be a big blow to my caloric intake, and at the same time, I also intensified my daily routine of crunches and push-ups which I started sometime at the end of last year (this, I'll explain why later).

All that only managed to lose me one measly kilo.

1 kg
I was crushed.

Now in Penang, I revised my strategy and... no, I did not resort to dodgy weight loss supplements, but I did follow this regime;
  • Order only the smallest possible portion whenever I eat out, and finishing only about three-fourths of it. If a serving is big, I split it with Phoebs. Strictly only 2 meals a day, and no snacks - or rather, I've replaced snacking with swigging fruit juices. Calorie-wise, I actually ate less than Phoebs on most days.
  • Swim till exhaustion 4-5 times a week. And by 'swim' I mean 'flail about helplessly like I'm drowning' since I've never actually taken lessons.
  • Crunches and push-ups every other day.
  • Always choose the stairs when going up. My parking spot in Phoebs' condo building is on the 4th floor while her unit is on the 12th floor - so that's 2 to 3 times a day of massive stair-climbing because we both enjoy going out a lot. Moreover, the pool is on the 5th floor so after every dip, I have to drag my battered, limp body up seven entire floors as well.
When I return from yesterday to Malacca, my grandmother said that I look thinner. Would you believe that it had been 3 long years since the last time I hear anyone say that to me? Hold on, I think I got something in my eyes...

Somewhat related to this is a wager I made with Phoebe last year and the condition of that wager is; whoever manage to have visible semilunar lines first, he or she wins an iPod Touch (or another gadget of comparable value). Essentially, we're betting half of our very first paychecks here and I only did it because I needed a strong motivation to work out. As for Phoebs - well, she just wanted an iPod Touch very, very much.

For those that did not have the benefit of a whole year of human anatomy classes, the semilunar line is a curved groove running along the lateral border of each rectus abdominis muscle - and the two abdominal recti form what is colloquially known as the "six pack".

Semilunar Line
Meh, close enough.

I won that bet, naturally.

And no, I won't post up any pictures of my abs here because I swore never to bare my body to get ahead in life on the internet. You never know where those photographs might show up, you know.

Of course, being the awesomely magnanimous boyfriend that I am, I allowed to Phoebe to extend the conditions of the bet (after I have won) to whoever gets a six-pack first so she would have a chance to win it back. I never seem to have been able to collect my winnings from all the bets I have made in the past. A friend said that he would cut his penis off if I manage to get a girl to be my girlfriend while another friend said that he would eat 10 kg of his own shit. That girl would later become the Ex-Grrrfriend™ that I mention occasionally in this journal (and just in case anyone reading this is a star Olympic Conclusion-jumper; I was already going after her at the time, and yeah, my high school friends were dicks).

Now, that I think of it, the Ex-Grrrfriend™ also lost a bet to me once, and my prize was that I can ask her to do anything - anything at all - and she would have to comply. The main reason why I didn't feel like holding her up to her end of the bargain was because I lost a bet to her in turn - and that one says that I have to dress in drag in a maternity dress (complete with a faux-womb) and allow her to take photographs of me.

Over my dead, now-sexy body. Oh yeah.



One of the pretty people,
k0k s3n w4i

12 comments:

Phoebs said...

smug much T^T

mg said...

good job on losing weight! :)

kenwooi said...

haha.. i wish to lose weight too =P

Bitter Sweet said...

how i wish i can lose weight..
1kg for 1week pun dah cukup tapi tak dpt pun..huhuuh~

Jonshea said...

I need to take your tips into consideration. if no, the gf complain me weighty. XD

J said...

keep up the good work. I did drop 5kgs in 4 to 5weeks like you too..

till date..I've dropped 11kgs...since january 1st 2010..:D:D

but dun go for semi starvation. Not good :D

Jen said...

show off. come back to kl and i'll give you an angus burger from the pink sage to put on at least 3 kilos back on.

-hui- said...

I need to gain weight. Any secret formulas? =D btw, did you go for the conference?

k0k s3n w4i said...

Phoebs: when you got it, flaunt, honey :P

mg: who da man? i da man!

kenwooi: time to do something about it like a man now then.

Bitter Sweet: think the most important thing anyone needs when trying to lose weight is discipline - the rest is easy.

Jonshea: you go do that. don't think my girlfriend is in any shape to complain about my weightiness at the moment, hur hur hur.

J: well, maybe semi-starvation is too strong a phrase. i think we humans are overeating because we have an abundance of food now. back in the days, getting food was a problem and our cave ancestors would only get to eat every few days or so. so, eating much less than what my body actually needs is pretty healthy too. and wow. 11 kg? and ur a girl? impressive. my target is 65kg and i'm only slightly more than halfway there.

Jen: as a matter of fact, i would probably in kl next next weekend. i see your angus burger and raise you a häagen-dasz chocolate milkshake :P

-hui-: nope, i had to do my electives (heard the accomodation and food at mimsc are suckier this year) - which was quite an education, i must say. will post a little about it later. tell me when you're in malacca; i will take you on what i dub the malaccan heartclogger eating tour. guaranteed to put some meat (and fat) on that skinny frame of yours.

Jen said...

you won the glee folder btw. pass it to you when i see that häagen-dasz chocolate milkshake you mentioned.

-hui- said...

haha. I think by the time I go melaka, you graduate already. =( Yeah, i heard that thte accomodation was bad. LOL! I saw some pictures of the dorms in UM! Mmm.. i think last year's was better but MMMC won quite a lot of quizes! =D

k0k s3n w4i said...

Jen: 'course i won it :P will give you a ring when i can confirm my kl trip.

-hui-: doesn't mean i would be away from malacca forever, right, after grad? i haven't been reading about mimsc v.2.0 though, so i'm not sure how we did.